Dancing in the rain…

July 10, 2015

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Green

I saw that little saying on a  plaque (the kind you would probably buy in a card shop) in a house that I showed recently. Vivian Green is a successful greeting card writer, so this little saying is representative of the catchy types of things that she comes up with for her cards. It may be written off as a vacuous little ditty, but it can lead to some valuable insight into life if you really think about it.

rain cloudIf you are experiencing a storm in your life; what are your choices? Accept what has just happen to you as your fate and go on in life depressed about it, deny that what just happened to you actually happened and try to go on with life as it never happened, deal with what just happened to you as just another challenge to be overcome as you get on with life, write off what just happened to you as being really not that important on the bigger scheme of things and go on with life, embrace what just happened to you as a learning experience and make the necessary adjustments as you go on with life. What’s the common theme – life goes on. How you deal with what happens to you in life will determine the quality of the life that you go on with. All of the choices above (and more) are possible, with some being more probable than others depending upon your attitude and mental state.

We all tend, from time to time, to “hunker down” and try to wait out a storm in our lives; some bad thing that has happened or that we think is about to happen. Maybe it is a confrontational situation – the need to let someone go at work or the need to do the “it’s not you, it’s me” break-up thing. Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one. Maybe it’s thegirl crying loss of a job. Whatever the storm is in your life; it is important to stop and think about how you are reacting to it and ask yourself honestly if that is how you really want to act. Sometimes it’s OK to admit to yourself that you really needed a good cry; you needed to get that pain out through those tears. Sometimes you may find that you stop yourself from going down a path in reaction to things, because that path is defined by anger and striking back in revenge – not a good path to go down. Sometimes you may just be confused and unable to immediately decide how you should react.

Many times in a crisis you may have the knee-jerk reaction that somehow God and your faith have let you down. After all, how could God let this happen to you? These are all times when your faith is actually memore important than ever. There is nothing else in life that you can count on more than your faith, not even life itself. Everything else is temporary and will eventually fade away. Think about it. Is there anything else but your faith that is associated with the concept of eternity?  Is there anything else besides the resurrection promised by
your faith that you believe will be there the instant after you leave this life? Can you even conceive of anything more powerful than God? If not, then why would you not turn to your faith and to God in a storm? And if you do that, why would you not dance in the rain? It’s not so much that you have just learned to dance in the rain; but rather that you have learned to trust God and that trust allows you to dance in the rain; it frees you to dance in the rain; it compels you to dance in the rain.

So the next time that you encounter someone who appears to be dancing in the rain and weathering the stormsbelieve that life has thrown their way, maybe you have just encountered a believer who has put his or her trust in God to get them through the storm. Maybe they’ll share some of their faith with you and you can learn to dance in the rains that occur in your life.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Here’s to your health my friend

July 9, 2015

“Friendship is a powerful healing force.”  (Dr Joel Kahn, a holistic cardiologist in the Detroit area.) – as seen recently on the Jack’s Winning Words blog. Jack added that Dr. Khan also mentioned an old African proverb – “If you walk fast, walk alone.  If you want to walk far, walk together.” According to Dr. Khan, grabbing someone’s hand and walking together through challenges may be the most powerful health tool.

I believe that to be true. The power of friendship and the power of human touch are over looked and under-
massageappreciated.  One of the owners of Essential Massage and Wellness Center is in our local Chamber of Commerce Referral Network Group and she is always proclaiming the healing benefits of the power of touch, especially the touch rendered in a good massage.  I can certainly attest to that power, having had her work on a shoulder that I injured a couple of years ago. It’s wonderful! I believe the part about wellness in her business name; the benefits of the human-to-human touch in massage are well proven and provide a path to wellness in life.

I suspect that the magic in the use of friendship as a healing tool has a lot to do with taking away at least some of the fear that comes with a sickness or injury. It is comforting to have someone there with you when you are ill or injured that you can share your fears with and who can reassure you that everything will be OK. As a child we run to mommy to have her kiss our boo-boos. Does her kiss contain some powerful pain killer or antiseptic? No, it just makes things feel better. As adults mommy is not normally there to kiss our boo-boos, but we still find comfort in having someone to share the moment with, a spouse or significant other, our own children or just a good friend.

There may be pain involved with whatever we are going through, but pain can be managed these days (not always
to the extent that we might like); but is the fear of the unknowns that we may need the most help coping with andsick at home that’s where having someone to hold your hand and walk with you is a great aid to facing those fears and overcoming the illness or injury. I can’t imagine a worst case scenario than being in a hospital away from friends and family and facing an illness or injury without any support from loving friends or family. Of course the doctors and nurses will do the best that they can to treat whatever ails you and make you as comfortable as possible; but they have rounds to make and other patients to care for; so, they can’t sit there and hold your hand. They may be the most competent people in their profession; but, they are not your friends.

So, if you have relatives or friends that are facing the unknowns of and illness or suffering through recovery from an injury; be there for them. Be a powerful healing force for them. Be that comforting, familiar face that they can caregiverrelax with and share their fears and concerns with. Find the strength to lend them your strength and help them through their challenges. Take their hand and walk with them on their journey. Someday you may need their helping hand. You might also be surprised how many people are in hospitals and nursing homes with no family nearby to walk with them. Volunteer and become a healing force for someone just by being there. You might be surprised at what a positive force the volunteer lady who pushes the book cart around in the hospital can be, just because she stops to talk to the patients who are alone. What better things do you really have to do today than to be there for another human being in need of a friend?

Here’s to your health, my friend…

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Blogging Q & A

July 8, 2015

I get a lot of questions from friends or acquaintances about my blogging and blogging in general. These are usually from people who ask me how to get started or who tell me that they just don’t have the time or don’t feel confident that they could do it. Soooo, I decided to do this little post about blogging, in hopes that it answers a few questions and inspires a few more people to start blogging themselves. I guess this is my take on Blogging 101.

What the heck doe the word BLOG stand for anyway?

A few years back, when the internet was still fairly new, people began keeping and sharing web logs, which were initially just like keeping a public diary of what happened to them that day. From the Answeres.com web site comes this explanations of the origin of the word – The term ‘Blog’ is the evolved term coined by Peter Merholz in 1999. It’s not an acronym,…it’s a colloquialism. It comes from the conjoined terms web and log…as in weblog. Then it evolved into simply blog when Peter Merholz coined the term in 1999.

People keeping web logs discovered that others, sometimes many others would find and read their blogs about current events, such as coups in foreign lands or the doings of celebrities in the U.S. Software was developed to make creating these blogs easier and companies like WordPress and Blogspot began offering to host them for free. They provided what the internet and apparently the world was begging for – content. That really what blogs are – they are content; something for someone else to read. Blogs were added to web site all over as well as a means to provide easily updated content for those sites.

What good is a blog to me or my business?

The web has become the “go to” place for everything, with the latest trend being the movement of users off the desktop and onto mobile devices. People who need information about almost anything these days, just “Google it” and wait to see what comes back. What comes back is often dependent upon what they put into the Google inquiry to begin with. Google yourself and see what comes back. Now Google your business; not your company per se, but, just the line of business in which your company competes. What came back? Did your company show up? Now Google the problem or product category in which your company provides a solution or product. What showed up there? Was your company in the results? All of these example are things in which having a blog may help you gain position in the Google results that come back.

The other thing that posting regularly to a blog might do is to let people get to know you better and let them get comfortable with you as a person and not just a businessman. You can accomplish some of that on Facebook and I advertise all of my blog posts on Facebook, so that the people that I know there will see that I’m posting something that they may want to read. A blog can give you a little more formal setting in which to post things than a Facebook account might and can establish more of a professional reputation for you than most Social Media sites. I used the terms may and might above because your blog won’t do those things for you if you don’t faithfully post to it and make some effort to share it with others.

How do I get started?

You can jump right in by setting up your own blog on WordPress or one of the other free blogging sites and setting up an account. It’s relatively straightforward and the hardest part is probably choosing a theme (look) for your blog. There are lots of themes to choose from; but, start with something simple and don’t spend all of your time and effort on customizing your blog theme right away. You can go back later and change the theme if you want to. The important thing is to fill out your profile and get started with your first post. Another important step is to link yor blog in with your other social media sites – Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn and others, so that anytime that you post to your blog a post will also show up on those site alerting your friends there that there’s something new from you for them to read. After all the point of a blog is to share what you are posting. It’s not a secret diary that you keep locked away from the world. You hope that over time people will “like” what you post and sign up to “follow” your blog.

What should I look for in a blog hosting site?

Some blog sites have better editing tools than others, with ways to add more content, such as graphics and pictures and even video into the content. Some sites have fairly crude or simplistic editing tools. Find one that you feel comfortable using and one that supports the things that you may wish to add to your posts. Also look at the size of the blog hosting site/operation and the things that they do or the tools that they provide to promote the blogs that they host. There are a few larger blog hosting sites, like WordPress, Blogspot and Tumblr and tons of others. Here’s a link to a good read on the DearBlogger site about some of  the top blog hosting sites.

What does it cost to have a blog?

You can have a basic blog for nothing. If you desire to use your blog more like a web site and perhaps conduct business from it, you may need to pay to get some of the more advanced features that the free sites also sell. On the WordPress blog site you can also buy the rights to the domain for your blog (assuming that it is not already taken) for a relatively small annual fee. Owning the domain name makes it much easier for people (and Google) to find your blog. On WordPress my blog started out as https://normsmilfordblog.wordpress.com because it was a sub-domain of the WordPress site. That is a cumbersome URL name and one that Google may not have seen or bothered to index, so I bought the domain name http://normsmilfordblog.com and that is all that anyone has to enter now to get to my inspirational blog.

How long does a blog entry have to be?

It can be as long or as short as you wish it to be. I get a daily feed from a blog called Jack’s Winning Words, which is written by Jack Freed, the retired pastor of my church that is never more than one paragraph long. Jack starts each entry with a quote from someone or somewhere (maybe something he saw in a book, on a sign or on a poster) and adds a couple of sentences of his own thoughts about the quote. He normally challenges his readers at the end with a question about what it means to them. I use Jack’s little quotes all the time as the inspiration for my own blog. I usually write 4-5 paragraphs, sometime more. Which of these is the right length? Both are. There are no rules about length, except maybe not to bore your readers.

How often should I post new entries to my blog and how long will it take?

This is another question with no right or wrong answer. If you have the time and enjoy doing it, there is nothing wrong with posting to your blog every day; however, you can go a week or more between posts. Keep in mind that people may be visiting you blog more often to see if there is something new to read there. If you go too long between posts they may stop visiting. I recommend posting something at least once a week at a minimum. How much time it will take depends upon how long the post is and how fast you can think and write. I spend about 30 – 45 minutes (sometimes an hour) on each post (this one took longer). Some posts require more time because I may have to look up some things or confirm something that I think I know.

What about adding pictures or graphics to my blog?

writer-2Pictures and graphics do add to the appeal of a blog and can be an important part of the content. You should be careful not to use copywrited pictures or graphics without permission. There are sites like FreeDigitalPhotos.net to which you can go for free photos. I also use the clipart graphics out of MS Word or from free clip art web sites. Many people don’t use anything but words and that’s OK; but in our modern, Tweet-oriented world a lengthy blog with no pictures (like this one) will look to many like a “wall of words” and they will avoid them. You must balance off amusing the reader with educating them and I realize that you are not very amused by this post.

I’m not an expert on anything; what can I write about?

Blogs are not necessarily about rendering expert advice on things; although if you do have expertise on a particular subject that will give you lots of blog fodder. Rather blogs are about expressing your opinion on a topic, adding your insight to a subject or sometimes just getting things off your chest (be careful with that). Some bloggers try to act like reporters and post about the events going on in their lives or their areas of the world. Some like to render advice on life situations, sort of like a Web version of a Dear Abby column. Some just post whatever random thoughts they may have that day. The time is well passed when anyone cares what you had for breakfast, so give that approach a rest or move that important information about your life to Twitter or Facebook.

I advise peopled to write about things that interest them and write as if they were carrying upon a conversation with someone about that topic. One way to start is to sit down and think about your life – what you like or don’t like, what you do for a living, what you know about what you do for a living, what your hobbies are and what you know about those, what life experiences you’ve had that you might be able to share with others, places where you’ve been that you might give someone else some insight into or maybe opinions that you hold strongly and want to share with others. All of those things provide potential blog posts for you to explore and share, so make a list and save it as future blog topics.

So, what am I waiting for?

That’s a good final question. What are you waiting for, an invitation from the Pope? Jump in and get started writing. I can’t wait to see what you have to say.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration, Pure fun | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

But, do you care a whole awful lot?

July 7, 2015

Today’s thoughts for the day come from two quotes that I first saw on the Jack’s Winning Words blog –

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would solve most of the world’s problems.”  (Gandhi)

– and –

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not.”  (Dr. Seuss)

A good number of the world’s problems that Gandhi was talking about go unresolved because no one cares a whole awful lot and thus they don’t even try to solve them.  Sometimes it’s because we have a tendency to see big issues or problems, like world hunger, and think, “What could one little person like me do about that?” We don’t see a way to make our small contribution or think that it would even matter against such a big problem. Yet it was one little person who cared who started programs like Gleaners. In the Detroit area that one person was Gene Gonya. From the Detroit Gleaners site comes this background story –

Born in 1940, Gene Gonya grew up on the family farm in Ohio. At age 19, he became a Brother in the Jesuit Religious Community believing in their motto of “doing all for the greater honor and glory of God.”

In 1977, Gene chose to leave the Jesuit Community and continue his mission of community service as a lay person of the Catholic Church. In April of 1977, he co-founded Gleaners Community Food Bank, renting the first floor of a warehouse on Detroit’s near-eastside, a stone’s throw from the Capuchin Soup Kitchen. The food bank was founded to solicit surplus food, store it safely, and distribute it to agencies that are the direct providers to the hungry of our communities. The food bank could now accept donations such as truckloads of produce from Gene’s family farm and “bank” it for small or large organizations serving the community, since none of these service agencies could accept such large donations.

Gleaners in Detroit was among the first food banks in the United States. Several years after founding Gleaners, Gene and a few other food banks founded Second Harvest, a national network of food bank members (now called Feeding America). Gene also helped found the Food Bank Council of Michigan.

Gene was a person who cared a whole awful lot.

caringAlmost every good thing starts with someone who cares enough to take action. Sometimes that’s the extent of it, but many times others join in and before you know it a movement or trend is born. Sometimes you can join groups who already have work in progress, like the Rotary Clubs which are waging a campaign to wipe out polio on the planet,  and make your contribution to the effort. Sometimes you have to start the group. It all starts with someone who cares an awful lot. The good news is found in what Gandhi said – we can accomplish a lot more than we believe we can, if we just take action. I wrote a post here about the fact that many are called but few get up, so to steal a line from the Marines and adapt it a bit; be one of the few, the proud the ones that got up and did something. Be one of the ones who cared a whole awful lot.

Find your place to help this week. Show that you care and show the world what you are capable of. Have a great week!

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

The pursuit of happiness…

July 5, 2015

“Essential to the pursuit of happiness is knowing when you’ve caught it.” – from the Arlo ‘N’ Janice cartoon.

I saw that little saying in a recent newspaper that carries the Arlo “N” Janice daily cartoon strip and thought that it really made an important point. My wife and I often sit out on our big, screened-in front porch and man daydreamingcomment on the fact that our lives are good and that we find happiness in what we have. I look back on the many years in my life of pursuing happiness, most of them looking for the wrong things, and realize that my true happiness was right there beside me for the entire journey. The rest of the efforts were to achieve things or buy things that, in the long run, were meaningless and fell away over time. Now, I will that our great old house in our wonderful little village is a major contributor to our happiness; but it too is just a possession. It is sharing our love and our lives that bring true happiness for us both.

For most people it takes quite a while in life to stop and look at what you have and perhaps find that youreaching goal
already have achieved happiness by finding your life mate. I suspect that it is because we get so much orientation in our youth that equates happiness to achievements, success, money and other measurements. We convince ourselves that we’ll be happy only if we get that raise or promotion, buy that car or other toy, marry the best looking person, go to the best events, achieve the highest score, win the tournament or whatever other things are out there dangling and shiny in front of us. We use terms like “goals” to define what we
think will bring us happiness; we set them and pursue them and then set new ones. We jump on the hamster wheel of life and start running, convinced that this is the way to happiness. Many never stop and get off the wheel to se if they may have already achieved the happiness that they have been pursuing.

man reaching for starAs you get older, you begin to realize that achieving that latest goal was less satisfying than you had imagined and that setting a new goal for yourself to pursue seems less exciting. You may also notice that you don’t seem to have the enthusiasm and energy to put into that pursuit that you used to have. Perhaps it is because there is an increasingly nagging little voice telling you to stop and look at your life and realize what is important. If you do it will likely not involve your possessions so much as it will be about your relationships.

It seems to be man’s fate that every generation must relearn the life lesson that money can’t buy happiness and that possessions seldom bring more than temporary happiness. In the end, when they take the inventory of all of your possessions, many (if not most) will end up in the dumpster that they back up to your McMansion and none of them will end up going with you. Even if someone remembers you fondly tooling around in your fancy sports car or on your big boat, it’s really you that they are remembering and not the possessions. If they are thinking about the car or the boat, what does that say about you and your

"Image courtesy of Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net".

“Image courtesy of Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

relationship with them?

As you near that end; you will realize more and more that the only things that really matters in this world is the relationship with the life partner shuffling along the path beside you; and the only thing that matters after this world is the relationship that you have with the God with whom you will be spending the rest of eternity. Get those two relationships right and you can end the pursuit because you have found happiness.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Summertime and the good life in Milford, Michigan

July 3, 2015

It’s officially summer, and that means lots of things to do in the Milford, Michigan area for the next few months.

The annual 4thof July Parade kicks things off, with hundreds expected downtown to watch the parade. Theparade band pic parade steps off at 11 AM in front of the Milford Historical Museum and proceeds down Main Street all the way to Huron Street. Over 45 groups will be participating in the parade with candy and goodies for the kids who are watching. The parade theme this year is “Celebrating the Huron Valley” and signifies that the parade is made up of marchers and watched by spectators from all over the Huron Valley area.  The parade Grand Marshall this year is
Mary Lou Gharrity, a life-long resident of Milford who grew up in Ye Olde HotelMary Lou and MArlene on Main Street  and who, along with her late husband, owned the Milford Times weekly newspaper for many years. Mary Lou is also a founding member of the Milford Historical Society and a “go to” person if you want to know about Milford’s history.

On July 10 & 11 Milford’s Downtown Merchants hold their annual sidewalk sale, with great bargains to be had on a variety of store items, plus entertainment, special prizes and refreshments and other “goings-on” downtown.   On those same two days the Milford Historical Society will be holding its annual Granny’s Attic Sale from garage sale-29 AM until 4 PM both days and features an eclectic mix of donated items and items from estate sales in the area. There are things that Granny pulls out of her attic that you won’t find anywhere else, from glass and china to furniture items. Check it out on your way to and from the Sidewalk Sale.

In August Milford’s big event of the year – Milford Memories – will take placeMIlford Memories poster 2015 over three days from August 7 – 9 – Ranked 41st in the Nation by Sunshine Magazine & Voted 2nd Best Festival by Vote 4 the Best. Over 200,000 guests can’t be wrong! This is a huge event, with hundreds of booths featuring art and crafts and other products. It’s not to be missed. Click here to go to the Milford Memories web site.

In September we have the Home Tour weekend, which is comprised of several events over two day – September 19 & 20.  On both Saturday and Sunday, the Home tour runs from 10 Am until 4 PM and features f of the historic homes of Milford, plus 3-4 other venues for visitors to learn more about Milford’s History. On Sunday only there are three more events going on – The 31st annual Milford Car Show will take place all the way down Main Street and into Central Park. The show runs from 8 Am until 4 PM. and features nearly 200 cars of all types in multiple categories that are judged for best in category by the show attendees.  Click here to go to the Milford Car Show web site.

Also on Sunday we have the annual Tractor Show out at the Huron Valley State Bank location at GM and Milford Roads. The show runs from about 10 AM until 4 PM and features both working farm tractors and vintage collectible tractors.

Finally that Sunday the annual Huron Valley Rotary Club Duck Race is held in Central park. There will be RotaryDucksgames and activities for kids, picnic type food available for the family and other activities leading up to the moment when the 1000+ yellow rubber ducks are dumped into the Creek leading to the Huron River and all frantically paddle away trying to be the first across the finish line down-stream. The duck are sold to raise funds for the work in the community that the Rotary does and a part of the funds collected goes to the owner of the first place duck. In the pasts that was well over $1,000. Click here for more on the Duck Race from 2014. Stray tuned for how to buy your 2015 duck. For a little extra this year duck owners will be allowed to paint their ducks a different color so that it makes it easier to see how their duck is doing in the race (each duck is numbered).

In addition to those special events, the Concerts in the Park series of summer concerts at the LaFontaine Family Amphitheater continue, as do the Friday Might Live Concerts at the Center Street Gazebo. You can go to my web site www.movetomilford.com to see the schedule of acts at those venues. Then there are lots of activities throughout the summer at the YMCA and put on by the Community Rec and Adult Ed program. You can view schedules for both at the Move to Milford web site, as well as click on the Events Calendar for Kensington MetroPark. There’s always something to do in the Valley.

Leave a Comment » | About Milford Michigan, Local Events | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

What do you see?

July 2, 2015

“Humans see what they want to see.”  (Rick Riordan)

That’s a provocative, but, oh so true, statement. It is perhaps the root of all prejudice that different people can look at the same thing or person and “see” two completely different things. It’s hard to imagine that the human eyes of those two people actually capture and process the image any differently. An apple would look the same to any two people, one must presume; and an orange would look noticeably different to both.

old layd young girlBut what Riordan is referencing is not the physical act of the eye capturing the image; but rather what the mind does to interpret that image – what our pre-conceived notions do to the image to distort it in our minds. We use the word “see” quite often to reference what we imagine (or “see”) in our minds eye. It’s as if we have a little Photoshop app in our minds that add things to the picture that our eye captured – layers and nuances- and then may distort  that image to either enhance it or make it ugly. So, what do you “see” in this graphic, which is perhaps the most famous optical illusion of all time. Do you see the young girl or the old lady or both?

Sometimes the surrounding environment or the setting can influence what we see. Sometimes the people that we may be looking at have gone to great lengths to fool us into seeing what they want us to see. Sometimes we combine things that we can physically see with things that are “suggested” to us to conjure up what we “see”. A great example is the recent ads that showed a hip-hop DJ who was cleaned up, dressed up and supplied with a few impressive sounding things to say about personal finances and placed in a professional looking office setting. He fooled everyone and they all “saw” him as a financial adviser that they would trust. I suppose the people who saw Bernie Madoff as someone to trust were fooled by what they saw, too.

At a day-to-day level, many people have developed a knack for not seeing the things in life that they don’t want to see. They can look passed that man on the street corner begging for food or a place to live. They
diverse hands look at an LGBT person or couple and their vision is clouded by fear and hate and they “see” only sin and unholy behavior (at least by their self-righteous standards). They look at a black person or a Hispanic and “see” only a criminals and drug dealers and welfare scofflaws (especially Donald Trump). If they don’t see someone who looks a lot like themselves then they don’t “see” people worthy of meeting and interacting with; perhaps they even see danger and ill intent where none exists.

It is our ability to add nuance and context from our own minds to what we physically see that can either visualizationenhance the picture or darken it. That is something that we must always be keenly aware of and vigilant to control. That is especially true in setting where the other people may have greatly different styles and manner of dress than us. Walk into a tattoo parlor and see what you “see”. How much of what you see in your mind’s eye prejudices you before the first word is spoken. Walk into a predominantly black or Hispanic bar or night club and see what your mind’s eye tells you about the clothes that you “see.” Are you really seeing things or is your own mind and your prejudices coloring the scene for you? You probably can’t see what you are missing by letting those prejudices control what you think you “see”.

It’s strangely appropriate that people will often use the expression “I see you completely differently, now”; once they have gotten past their initial prejudices and really taken the time to get to know the person that they initially saw as a threat or as someone to be avoided. I think that the phrase that we started with – Humans see what they want to see – needs our attention. We need to want to see; to really “see” the person that is standing in front of us and not just the mental image that we have conjured up out of our minds eye. To do that we must be more aware of that predisposition to allow things from our past color what we see now. It’s not easy. It takes conscious effort; but the effort is worth the reward of being able to cut through themen hugging layers of misunderstanding or misinformation and actually “see” who is really there.

The more that you try to do this – to really see without pre-judging – the easier it will get for you and the more you will find that you’ve been missing out on knowing some pretty interesting people because what you saw before had nothing to do with who they really are. As for the guy on the corner asking for help; the next time that you see him, think of it as if you were holding up a hand mirror and look that guy in the eye and see if you can as easily look straight through him. You don’t know his story and no one will know yours if you should end up there someday if they don’t “see” you. Maybe that will help you “see” things in a different light.

In the meantime; I’ll “see” you later.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Life and troubles are both impermanent…

July 1, 2015

“We are all visitors to this time, this place.  We are just passing through.”  (Aboriginal Proverb)

“Nothing is permanent in this world—not even our troubles.”  (Charlie Chaplin)

Those two quotes could each by themselves be the subject of a complete post here; however when you concatenate travelerthem and see the common theme, it makes for a powerful thought. The Aboriginal proverb establishes the impermanence of our lives and the Chaplin quote takes that theme down to the level of our everyday lives.

The Aboriginal proverb may help us understand that life is a little like a visit to Disney Land. Did you make that visit, or something like, that when you were a kid? Do you remember it? In your memories was there stress? Were there concerns about your job, about how to pay the bills, about what people thought of you? Did you lay awake the night before concerned about a confrontational experience that awaits you the next day; or was your sleepless night caused by thoughts of all of the things that you hope to do the next day – caused by excitement and not by fear?  How can you get back to that place?

And the Chaplin quote seems to build upon the thought of the impermanence of life by extending it to the transient nature of our “problems” in life. We all tend to fixate on what is just ahead of us – the current crisis that life has thrown our way – our “troubles” as Chaplin put it. As I get older, I have noticed that I somehow have survived the many life crises that I was sure at the time represented the end of life as I knew it. I woke up the next day. I was still alive and the world had gone on about its business. Maybe I had suffered a loss. Maybe I had lost a friend. Maybe the love that I let gothought I had for someone had not worked out as I had hoped. But, still; I was alive and able to go on. Nothing, it turned out, was permanent in this world; a world in which I’m a visitor, just passing through.

I’ve written a few times here about being able to roll with the punches that life throws at us. The thoughts that are contained in the two quotes today really establish the base from which you can have an attitude about life that allows that to happen. If you begin with the premise that everything in life (including life itself) is impermanent, that establishes a perspective that helps you to let go of things that might have happened and even of people whose paths may have crossed yours. Some people are harder than others to let go of; especially if you shared your life with them for a significant period of time – parents, wives, children and relatives come to mind. But even those relationships are impermanent, because they, like us, are just visitors here, too.

As a person just passing through you have choices to make about how you conduct yourself. You can be like the idiot who was driving by and threw their fast food bag out their window and onto your lawn – uncaring, unthinking – an idiot. Or, you can be responsible and properly conduct your life in a manner that will not label you as an idiot. You may be just passing through, but you needn’t leave a trail of litter and garbage in your wake. Some people do that by discarding old friends in favor of new friends as they go through life, sometimes tossing the old friends out the window as they drive away. Some even discard wives and children as if they were expendable bags of garbage. These are not people that I would choose to befriend. Would you?

As a visitor here you might also take the attitude that you are going to explore and learn as much as you can about the place that you are visiting, just as you might about a foreign country that you visit. That means going places and doing embrace diversitythings, but most of all it means meeting people. It means embracing diversity, because you can learn something new or see things from a different point of view. It means reserving judgement and not pre-judging, based upon things like looks. It means keeping an open mind and judging people on their actions and not some pre-conceived stereotype. Remember that they are visitors, too; and they may be just as wary of meeting you as you are about meeting them.

As you spend your time visiting here, you’ll undoubtedly hit some rough times, have some hardships, suffer some setbacks or losses; just remember that those things are impermanent, too. There will be a tomorrow and most likely you’ll be there, with those troubles behind you, if you are willing to leave them where they belong – in your past – and move ahead. Use your time visiting here wisely, not living in the past but always looking to the future – a new day, new friends, new opportunities, and new experiences.

Have a great day and rest of your week, fellow traveler.

1 Comment | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Next Entries »