‘Tis a day to dismiss the pithy or snarky and focus upon the import of the moment – Valentine’s Day. I recall this day from my youth as one of great hope and sometimes dashed dreams. It was the day when you saved your biggest and best Valentine card at school for the one that you secretly loved (or so you thought). Valentine cards were exchanged by walking around dropping the cards into the little bags on each other’s desks, in hopes that there would be some in your bag when you got back. As I got older it became a time of the year to try to impress the girl (or girls) of my dreams or perhaps to ask them out. All too often that resulted in finding an empty bag, too. Won’t you Be my Valentine?
Once I had found my life mate the day became one of giving something special to show my love and appreciation – sometimes candy and flowers, sometimes jewelry or other special or sparkly things. As we both grew older the day refocused upon our children and making it a special day for them. By the time we became empty-nesters again the holiday had taken on such a commercial air that it became tedious and boring, something to be largely ignored. After all, the Valentine’s candy and stuff had been out on the store shelves since mid-January in many cases. One can only look at so many frilly, heart shaped boxes before getting sick of them; especially the ones with the words Be my Valentine.
Still, it is a time for the young to chase their dreams of romance with the unapproachable apples of their eyes and for the Tween and teens to try to quench their burning hormones in chocolate. It is th time to see if a huge bouquet of flowers or a nice piece of jewelry will atone for a year’s worth of working too late and not having time for your mate. Hopefully you can take the time away from other distractions to ask honestly that your life mate Be my Valentine.
If you take the time to pause and engage in a meaningful conversation, you might find that the answer to your request that your life mate be your valentine is something like, “Just be here” or “Pay attention to me” or perhaps even “Be who you were when we met.” Valentine’s Day should be used for that pause and that reflection with your significant other and if you do say Be my Valentine, it should be felt and said with the same passion and dedication that got you together in the first place. So, rather than asking them to do something for you, perhaps you should ask them for permission for you to Be their Valentine.
Use Valentine’s Day not for gift giving and cutesy cards, but rather as a time to re-kindle the love that brought you together. A long hug and a lingering kiss that brings back memories will last longer and have a greater meaning for you both than all of the flowers and candy you could buy. You will never have to be disappointed by an empty bag on your desk if you take the time to show love to the one that has chosen to spend their life with you. So grab a couple glasses of wine and snuggle down in front of the fire and raise a toast together that you both will always Be my Valentine.