NormsMilfordBlog

In his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote today – “Life teaches you a new lesson every day, if you are attentive enough in the class of life.”  (Invajy)

Jack also opined that a key to learning the lessons of life is to be curious. Curious about what just happened, or maybe why it just happened. Maybe it is to be curious to know more about the person that you just met. Quite a lot is always happening all around us and new people are always passing through our lives; however, much of what happens and many of the people that we encounter do not make any impression upon us because we are not paying attention.

There is a new movie coming out in May,2022, called Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. The trailers for the movie show lots of action in all sorts of weird alternative universes that Dr Strange encounters. The reality of life is that we all live in the multiverse of different perceptions of the reality that is all around us. That strange looking person that we encounter is looking back at the strange looking guy that he just encountered. Both may be wondering what life looks like from the other’s perspective; although it is just as likely that neither one was paying enough attention to even notice the other.

When we are very young, life is all about exploring and playing. There is some learning going on, but we really aren’t paying attention. Eventually the adults in our lives start imposing some discipline and force us to pay attention. They use the concepts of schools and classes to force us to pay attention and develop the ability to learn from what we are experiencing. Some embrace learning through paying attention and some do not. Some take the learning process from their schooling, and some do not. Some continue to pay attention to the people, things and events around them and some retreat into the comfort of being oblivious.

Are you paying attention to life? Are you curious about the people and things that you encounter? How do you act upon that curiosity? Do you follow up? Do you engage in conversations that help you better understand and appreciate the person that you just met? Do you explore the how and why of what may have just happened? What lessons did you earn from that?

We don’t all have to be a Curious George, but we should all be paying more attention. There is a Multiverse of diverse perspectives, backgrounds, opinions, and perceptions all around us if we just pay attention. You will never have all of the answers, but you should never stop asking the questions. We can’t help but to learn from this diversity and that will make us a more intelligent and understanding person.

Are you paying attention to life? What are you learning?

A quote used some time ago in the Jack’s Winning Words blog seemed to be worthy of comment – “I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.”  (Diane Sawyer) 

The reason that this lesson is so had to implement is that, so many of us are so wrapped up in ourselves and what we think is important for us to say or to share with others, that we seldom pay close attention to what they are saying. Oh, we get a few words and then start formulating our response. You know that you are bad at this when people often stop your response and ask, “Did you even hear what I was saying?” The truth is, No, you did not hear what they were saying. You weren’t paying attention.

Really paying attention to what someone else is saying requires that one focus on both what the words are that are being used and what non-verbal messages are being shared – the demeanor and body language that the speaker is sharing. When does, “I’m OK” really mean I’m not OK and need help? If you are paying attention you will see the hidden message. When does a seemingly polite “Thank you for asking” really mean, please ask more questions? When should the acceptance of an apology with , “that’s alright, don’t worry about it” really worry you, because it is not alright? Pay attention and you will see those non-verbal signals.

These are all examples of opportunities for further interaction that are easily missed by not paying attention. It is not that you were trying to be dismissive of the feelings or pain of the other person, so much as that you just weren’t paying enough attention at the time. This often leads to the phrase, “If I knew then what I know now.” Well, you could have known then, had you been paying attention.

Although this is a hard lesson to actually implement, it is one worth putting some effort into on a daily basis. I have posted here a few times about one of the best listeners that I know – Pastor Doug McMunn of the Milford United Methodist Church. You can actually see Doug focusing upon what you are saying when you speak with him. You know that he is listening what you say and making that the most important thing for him at that moment. His responses are always thoughtful and contextually correct, because he has made the effort to hear and understand what you are saying, instead of letting his mind race ahead to what he wants to say next. We would all do well to use him as a model for paying attention.

A side benefit of paying attention when speaking with others is that you might actually learn something from the conversation. If nothing else, it might provide you with insight into a different point of view on whatever topic is being discussed. A really effective communicator will seek to better understand and evaluate those different points of view, rather than just trying to debate it or superimpose one’s own point of view over the views of the other party.

Perhaps you can start your day with the resolve to pay better attention during the interactions that you have with others during the day. I suspect that you will end the day with a better understanding and appreciation of those that you encountered. Who knows, you might learn something, too.

Now, what was it you were saying? I wasn’t paying attention.