Reaching for the next bar…

December 29, 2020

In a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote –

‘”Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward,”  (C.S. Lewis)

I know that I’ve posted many times about letting go and moving on, but the optic of the monkey bars was too powerful to ignore.

I suppose that all of us have at one time (usually while we were very young) have been on monkey bars at a playground. Maybe as an adult, we hit something similar at a gym. When you’re a child it can look like it’s a long way to the ground and it can be scary. Sometimes we might get stranded on a bar or we can get turned upside down. Life is like that, too, and you can be left hanging upside down.

If we have lost our momentum, it can be very scary to let go with one hand and reach out with it towards the next bar. We may feel like we are losing our grip and will fall. Yet, we know that we must move forward somehow, so we must reach for the next bar or rung. We really can’t go back, because life has removed the bars behind us as we went. We also can’t remain hanging upside down or between bars. We must move on, so we must let go of the last bar.

In life that last bar may have been a strong, perhaps long relationship – a parent or a loved one whom we have lost. You can hold on to that bar in your memories, but you must let go of it in life and move on. For some, there is the pleasant surprise of finding another person with whom to share the journey ahead. For others there is contentment with a life filled with friends and perhaps children or siblings. There ae always more bars ahead to reach for, if you just let go of the past and reach out to the future.

If you feel like you are losing your grip, because of some event in your life, make the effort to reach for that next bar. You may not know what life holds for you ahead, but you can be sure that just hanging there on the bar that you are on is not the answer. Maybe that next bar is offered by an organization that helps people coping with mental anguish – reach for it. Maybe that next bar is being held out by friends and family – reach for it. Maybe that next bar is being held out by your faith in God – reach for it through prayer.  God will not let you fall. Reach for the next bar.

Reaching for the next bar…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Learn from it and move on

December 23, 2020

This morning I saw this quote while scrolling through Facebook posts – Never be defined by your past…it was just a lesson, not a life sentence.

The quote, which appears in multiple places, was not attributed to anyone in any of them.

There are two key things to take away from that bit of wisdom –

  1. Learn from your past, so that you don’t repeat your mistakes, and
  2. Move on from those mistakes instead of letting them hold you back or define you.

People who dwell on the past in regret or remorse can easily slip into depression, because they see no way out of the despair in which they feel that they are stuck and cannot move on.

It is important that one stop beating up themselves trying to imagine what they might have done differently to change the outcome of a situation gone bad. It happened. It is over. Now is the time to focus upon learning from it. Instead of fretting about what could I have done differently then; focus upon learning from it so that you can do differently if and when (it happens again).

Many people allow their past to define boundaries or limits on their future. For them there are places that that they do not allow themselves to go again, because the last time they went there they failed and it is was painful. They have painted themselves into a corner. For some that includes allowing themselves to love others. To love someone else is to open yourself up to the possibility and pain of rejection. However, the difference between liking and loving someone demands that level of commitment. One cannot experience the pleasure of true love, without accepting the risks inherent in laying one’s soul bare to the other party.

The other boundaries that some allow their past to define involve things like careers or sports or interpersonal relationships. I recently read a series of responses to a Facebook post made by people who had experienced prejudices based upon their past jobs. They had all been stereotyped by others because they had served as baristas in coffee shops at some point in their lives. One respondent is now a doctor and another a Vice-President of a large technology company. They refused to be confined by their past jobs.

Many people get comfortable in the niche in life that their past seemingly dictates, be it a job or a relationship. They find it easier to just continue moving in that direction, rather than exploring the possibilities that different directions offer. They are moving through life on momentum rather than making an effort to change for the better.

There was a 60’s hit by Peggy Lee titled “Is that all there is?”. The song was used on an episode of the TV show Mad Men as sort of a theme song for the malaise of the 1960’s. It is a sad and poignant story that many people who are confined by their past seem to identify with. I prefer to look ahead to new and different things and to see the world like Louis Armstrong in his song – “What a wonderful world”.

How about you? Are you confined by your past? Let go of it, because that is not all there is – there is a wonderful world out there if you just reach for it.

That is the lesson that we should all take away.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be scared, but not fearful…

December 22, 2020

Pastor Freed used an interesting quote this morning in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words –

“There were certainly things I was scared to do, but I never thought I wasn’t up to the challenge.”  (Rodney Mara)

It is interesting because it makes one think about things that they may be scared of, but do not fear actually doing. There are many things in life today that are scary to think about. These days that may include just leaving your house to go get groceries. Yes, it is scary to think that you could get COVID-19 just shopping for your groceries, but most do not let that turn into fear of leaving their house. Rather, we use that scare to goad us into doing the right things to protect ourselves – wearing a mask, maintaining a social distance and  washing or sanitizing our hands when we exit the store.

The two words scare and fear are so intertwined that they are used in the definitions of each other; however there are subtle differences and the biggest is probably that  fear contains a large amount of imagined outcome; whereas scare is more immediate and real. Something can scare us initially, but it doesn’t necessarily turn into a fear until we’ve had time to think about it and imagine all sorts of possible bad outcomes.  A scare is more of a here and now reaction to an event, while a fear is thinking about possible future events.

Pastor Freed went on to mention that he is better able to deals with his fears by relying on his belief in God, that God is there with him, during times of stress or fear. That is certainly good advice and allows us to implement the last part of Mara’s quote in our lives – never to think that we are not up to the challenges.

If we call upon God for help and believe in Him, we quickly realize that with God at our side we are up for any challenges that come our way…we need not fear them. Many things in life are scary when we encounter them; however if we approach them with the attitude of “I’ve got this”, we can persevere. In reality, we are saying to ourselves “We’ve got this”, because we know that God is with us –

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

God did not say to never be scared. There are things that will scare us, as they should. However, we do not have to let that scare turn into fears that control our lives. Rather than being anxious and fearful when encountering something scary, heed the words of John and be at peace –

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

The next time you encounter something scary, instead of letting that initial fright turn into a fear, quickly find your inter-peace, your faith.  Rather than sinking into the paralysis of fear, you will see that your faith calms the situation and allows you to think clearly about what you should do to address the situation. Your faith allows you to maintain control of yourself in the situation, whereas fear would try to control you.

Have a great and fear-free day. God is with you. Be not afraid.

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Posted by Norm Werner

But, it’s not an automatic door…

December 17, 2020

Pastor Freed used this quote today in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words –“Every wall has a door.”  (Emerson) 

That quote gets used a lot in inspirational posts or signs and is meant to encourage people to not quit, but to look for the way out of the situation that they find themselves in – to look for that door. Pastor Freed went on to relate how Michael Jordan used it to explain that he never quit when he had early rejections or failures in life – he found a way through, or over, or around the walls that life threw up in his life.

I suspect that many of us approach those doors like we would the door of a major retail store, like Kohl’s or Target. We expect them to be automatic, to open as we approach them. Most are not that way. The doors to opportunity in life require not only that you look for them; but, also that you actually work to get them open and go through them.

Some doors may even be locked when we get there and we have the further challenge of finding the key to unlock them, so that we may open them and go through. Some doors are even hidden. I saw a post on Linked In recently were a man approached a wall that had an obvious door in it, but he pushed on the seemingly solid stone wall next to the door and a passageway opened for his to go through. Maybe the message there is that one must also look for hidden solutions to life’s problems and challenges.

What do you do when you walk up to the storefront door and it doesn’t automatically open? Do you give up, turn around and go back to your car? No. You reach out, grab the door handle and open it yourself.

The doors the we may face in life are not automatic and we must work to find and open them, so that we might go forward in life. The important take-away is to not allow yourself to be satisfied with being shut out of what’s behind each door that is preventing your progress.

This morning, in your prayers, ask God, not that He make the doors that you encounter in life open automatically; but, rather for His help in finding the key needed to open them and allow you to move on with your life. Ask Him to strengthen your faith and give you the patience and perseverance to work at opening those doors.  We read in the Bible –

“For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” (1 John 5:4)

If you think about it, God has already given us the ultimate key to life’s last door – Jesus. For, with faith in Jesus, we can open the door in the wall of death and enter into eternal life.

Keep working at it through prayer. It is not an automatic door.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Find your calm…

December 16, 2020

In a recent Church Council meeting our Pastor used the following quote –

 “Fear sees a threat, anxiety images it” (Max Lucado from his book Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World)

Lucado is a Christian author and speaker who used that phrase back in 2017 as part of a Bible study presentation about Paul’s letter to the Philippians Chapter 4 verses 6-7, in which Paul said “be anxious about nothing.” You can read all about Max Lucado and see the books that he has written at maxlucado.com.

He went on to say, “The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional. It’s the life of perpetual anxiety that Paul wants to address. Don’t let anything in life leave you perpetually in angst.”

How prophetic were Paul’s words (and those of Lucado) when viewed from the context or our current pandemic environment. We can’t see the threat that the COVID-19 virus presents, we only see the results in the nightly news show; so our anxiety takes over and we imagine the threat as it might apply to us personally.

I have often written here about what I called “the dungeon of despair”, which Lucado calls the “prison of anxiety”. This is a mental prison, not a physical one; but it is a bad place to allow yourself to become trapped, nonetheless.

Lucado talks of the key to being calm in the face of a chaotic world is found in one’s faith. If anxiety imagines a threat where none can be seen, faith provides the calm place to go in the midst of that anxiety. Anxiety tries to cause us to see nowhere to turn in the face of the threat, but the Bible tells us –

“Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

And

“He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Sometimes we need a simple way to envision God’s love and care for us. Maybe you can find that by visualizing this passage from Isaiah 49:16 – “I have written your name on the palms of my hand.”

Just imagine God walking around with your name tattooed in the palm of his hand. Find comfort and calm in the thought that God is holding you in the palm of his hands and then say to yourself – If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)

Don’t let fear take over and lead to anxiety; rather, find your calm in the midst of the current chaos by using your imagination to strengthen your faith. Visualize your name written in the palm of God’s hand. Imagine that!

Be at peace.

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Posted by Norm Werner

So, say or do something…

December 13, 2020

The quote that Pastor Freed used in a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words was from  Tony Hsieh – Former CEO of Zappos – who tragically died in a house fire. “Remember that at the end of the day, it’s not what you say or do, but how you make people feel that matters the most.”  

Say hello

Many of us may look back at the end of our day and think about the things that we got done, the things we check off our To-Do lists; but how many look back and recognize the people that we made feel better that day? I would have perhaps re-stated Mr. Hsieh’s quote to focus it upon the things that one can say or do to make people feel better.

simple act of kindness

It is all too easy to feel that you are too busy to stop and compliment someone on how they look that day or just to hold a door open and let them go first, yet those simple acts of recognition and kindness can make that person feel better for that day. All people wish to be recognized; they want to be appreciated and acknowledged. To be completely ignored is to be insignificant and that is a lonely feeling.

So it is what you say or do that is important. When you encounter people today, at least acknowledge them. Be kind if the opportunity presents itself or maybe just say “hello” and give them a smile. That simple act of acknowledgement casts you noting and could make a big difference to someone who has been left lonely and perhaps depressed by the interpersonal restrictions of the current pandemic. Even if you have to speak to them through a mask, the fact that you spoke will not be lost on them. It is not enough in today’s environment to smile behind our masks, we must take overt actions.

If you have the opportunity, taking action to make someone feel better is even better. Holding a door open is the least you can do. Helping someone carry or load their groceries is possibly another. Going to do volunteer work at a local non-profit organization is another change to impact many people at once.

Each of these things, and anything else that you can think of, are examples of you taking overt and thoughtful action to make others feel better. At the end of the day, how do you think that will make you feel?

I thought so.

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Posted by Norm Werner

I can see clearly now…

December 11, 2020

That headline was an opening lyric from the song made famous by Johnny Nash –

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.

The quote used in today’s installment of the Jack’s Winning Words blog made me think of that song. Jack used – “Some things are just better left unsaid, and I usually realize that right after I say them.”

That quote got me to thinking about things that would have been best left unsaid and deeds that should have never been done. I suppose we all have some regrets for things that we have said or done, or maybe things left undone or unsaid. It is much easier to clearly see things like that in retrospect than to have the personal discipline to do or say the right things as events are unfolding.

The important things it to recognize life’s mistakes, forgive yourself for them, learn from them and move on with life. I hope that by learning from them, one avoids repeating them. As for the things that we say, one has only to look to Proverbs for some good advice on that –

 “Evil words destroy one’s friends; wise discernment rescues the godly.” (Proverbs 11:9).

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but hard words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15: 1)

“Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)

One of the things that the quote in Jack’s blog highlights is that speaking without first thinking is what usually gets us into trouble. Blurting out a response or a thought that pops into your mind, without pausing to give it some thought often leads to regret.

The best advice might be always to pause before you speak or respond to give your mind the time needed to consider what you are about to say. There are many reasons not to say something, not the least of which is to consider if to might be hurtful to someone else. There is never a good reason to say something that would hurt someone else.

Maybe we should all wear a little wristband with S-T-S on it for Stop, Think, Speak. That is much better than what today’s quote would put on that wristband – S-T-R (Speak, Think, Regret). If we all did that perhaps the words from the famous Frank Sinatra song, My Way, would apply – “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but them again too few to mention.”

Stop and see clearly before you speak.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be that candle today…

December 10, 2020
Be the candle

“A candle of God’s goodness can serve as a beacon of hope for those navigating dark passages of their lives.”  (Hanukkah Quote)

That was today’s quote in the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

Probably the most meaningful interpretation and implementation of that quote would be for each of us to accept a personal responsibility to be that candle of goodness in someone’s life. Be that candle today.

It comes as no surprise that many people are currently navigating dark passages in their lives, due to the COVID-19 pandemic. They have either experienced the disease themselves or perhaps lost a loved one to the disease. They need that candle, that beacon of hope, to help them get out of whatever dungeon of despair in which they have landed. Be that candle today.

God illuminates His goodness through the random acts of kindness that we occasionally hear about. The person paying for the meal of the person behind them in the line at McDonald’s or perhaps delivering groceries to the shut-in senior citizen. It also shows through in the many small things that we don’t often see on the news – dropping a dollar into a red kettle outside a store or holding a door open for someone whose hands are full.  Be that candle today.

Just the act of consideration for others by wearing a mask when indoors in public places is a tiny act of God’s goodness. Certainly, those who have recovered and give blood containing convalescent plasma to the cause take that a giant step further. Be that candle today.

Reaching out to those that we see, or sense, are having problems coping with the changes to their lives that the pandemic has caused is also critical. Many people have slipped into a quiet state of depression and too many have found no way out and committed suicide. People in those dark places need God’s beacon of hope that your candle can provide. Be there for them. Be that candle today.

Be the Candle

It is so simple to be God’s candle. Just pick up the phone and start making calls to relatives and friends. Maybe even to people that you don’t know all that well. Call and ask how they are doing. Talk to them about what you have been doing during all of this and let them know that somebody cares about their wellbeing. If they are OK ask them if they would help you with your calls and divide u your list. By doing so, you use your candle to light another candle. Be that candle today.

In your prayers today, include the request, “God let me be a candle for your goodness today”. If you start your day that way, you might be surprised how many opportunities you will recognize throughout the day to – Be that candle today.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The necessary evil…

December 8, 2020

In today’s post top his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, pastor Freed took on the topic of worshiping money with this quote – “Make money your god, and it will plague you like the devil.”  (Henry Fielding)

Certainly, we cannot ignore money or the need for it in order to live in the modern world; however, too many turn money from a means to an end into the end itself. The pursuit of more and more money becomes and obsession to those who worship it. I remember scenes of Scrooge McDuck frolicking in his money bins in the Donald Duck cartoons.

Men in particular seem to allow themselves to become obsessed with making more and more money. They start out telling themselves that it is for their family, but somewhere along the way it really becomes and end in itself and not a means to that end. It also becomes a big part of how they identify themselves – a scorecard for their position in life. The sad part is that it does become the thing that they worship.

I’m reminded of the Bible story of the rich man who asked Jesus what he must do to have eternal life. When told that he must sell all he possessed and give the money to the poor he wandered off, unable to give up his riches. One assumes that he died and did not go to heaven. Some may say, “I wish I was rich and had to make that decision”, but they don’t really wish that upon themselves, once they think about it.

Most of us spend time worrying about money – whether we will have enough to pay the bills or feed the family and pay the rent. Few of us really worship money or obsess about the accumulation of great wealth. Truly happy people are satisfied when they have enough money to meet their basic needs, so that they can focus upon what is important in life – the relationships that they have with loved ones and friends and their relationship with God.

So, yes, money is important as a means to the end of living a happy life, but it is not so important that one should worship (obsess over) it. Maybe instead of praying that God give you more money, one would be better served by praying that God help you find a way to be happier with the money that you have. That happiness is based not on possessions, but on the love in the relationships that you have.

Maybe the lyrics to the Bobby McFerrin song should be slightly modified to read “Don’t worry (about money), be happy.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Making your life simple…

December 7, 2020

I collect and save the quotes that Pastor Freed uses in his Blog, Jack’s Winning Words. Sometimes I have them around for quite some time before I am inspired to write something based upon them and sometimes it is only by combining a couple of them together that I find that inspiration. Such is the case today. These two quote were used weeks apart in Jack’s blog and each is a good thought in and of itself; however when put together they define a great philosophy for life.

“Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that’s creativity.”  (Charles Mingus)

“Simple rule in life:  If you wouldn’t like it done to you, don’t do it to others.”

Many of us tend to make life much more complicated that it need be. We see innuendo and conspiracies in the actions of others that really don’t exist and we agonize endlessly over decisions that should be simple. Human interactions do not have to be complicated. If one lives by the second quote, life can become awesomely simple.

That quote is just another way of stating what is often called the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. None of us would wish abuse to be heaped upon us by others; so why do that to others. We would not like others to judge us by how we look or dress; so why would we do that to others. We would not like people to make fun of how we talk or judge us by our vocabulary; so why do we allow ourselves to judge others by those same measures.

All of those judgements serve to create conflicts in our lives and those conflicts cause life to become complicated.  Perhaps the way to stop making those judgements is to try to live by  the words of Pope Francis – “Who am I to judge?”

The Pope was just repeating the advice that he found in the Bible –

“There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12″

-and-

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;” (Luke 6:37)

If you stop and ask yourself that question – Who am I to judge? –  maybe that pause will allow you to consider the truth of the second quote above. If you don’t want to be judged to be a bigot or a homophobe or a jerk, then don’t judge others. It is really that simple. Those who constantly label others around them invite being  labeled themselves and the outcome is seldom pleasant.

Perhaps it is best not to rush to judgement of others; but, rather to focus on forgiveness – maybe forgiveness of yourself first. Make your life simple – just don’t do it if you wouldn’t want others to do it to you. That’s awesome!

Have a great and simple week ahead!

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Posted by Norm Werner

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