Do the math – share the love…

July 20, 2020

In one of his posts, Pastor Freed used this quote in his Jack’s Winning Words blog –

“Love multiplies and adds as we divide it with others.”  (Arthur C. Nelson) 

Love is one of those wonderful things that has no downside – no minus (I couldn’t resist the play on the quote).

There is a quote from Martin Luther King on one of the signs that our church had made to share with others – “Love is the only force strong enough to turn and enemy into a friend.”

We most often think of the word love within the context of family or romance, or maybe friendship. Take a moment to think of it within the context of your religious beliefs. God loved us so much that he gave his only son to come to earth, live among us and die for us and to forgive our sins. That is a love well beyond what we normally think of when we hear the word. It is also a different kind of love that asks nothing of us and requires nothing from us. It is a love that, once you internalize it, can be shared with others through your life.

It is often said of dogs that they share an unconditional love with their owners. Marriages that last are often based upon a love, which while maybe not quite unconditional, is forgiving, understanding and supportive. That kind of love puts the wellbeing and the happiness of the partner above the needs or desires of self and it definitely adds to the marriage.

The kind of love that the quote talks about is what He was alluding to when Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. As we love our neighbors, that love multiples and adds quality to our lives. It makes them and us feel better. It promotes peace and happiness in our lives.

So, do the math and share the love.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are we willing to pay the price?

July 14, 2020

In a post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote – “The price of democracy is the ongoing pursuit of the common good by all of the people.”  (Saul Alinsky)

Right now, it feels like the price of democracy is an endless squabble between polar opposites, each intent upon destroying the other. There are many issues that the politicians in Washington should be able to agree upon, like fixing our decaying infrastructure and providing equal opportunity for all to succeed; however, agreement almost always breaks down over the issue of how to pay for those things. One side wants to tax the well off to help those less fortunate and the other side says, “I got mine, you go get your own and leave mine alone.” There is an almost total lack of any sense of “the common good”. In fact, one side has labeled that sense of the common good as “Socialism” and attached a stigma to that label.

It is a shame that so many people who self-identify as Christians at the same time reject the basic tenants of Christ to love thy neighbor as yourself. Repeatedly in the Bible we are admonished to take care of those in need and to help those less fortunate than us. It does not say, “I’ve got mine, you go get your own.”

“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but indeed and in truth.”  –  (1 John 3:17-18)

-and-

“Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.” – (Proverbs 21:13)

I suspect that were he alive, saying and doing the things that he did back then, Jesus would be labeled a Socialist; especially if he said –

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  – (Philippians 2:4)

So the question becomes, is that Socialism or the price of democracy in looking after the common good? Is the availability of healthcare services for all a Socialist idea or something that is the common good? Is providing an education and equal opportunity to all of our children a Socialist idea or something that promotes the common good. Does insuring equal justice for all mean we have become Socialists or just that we have recognized that it as a key component of the common good.

If the key roadblock to agreement on providing these things is who will pay for them, have we become like the rich man who wandered away from Jesus when he was told he must sell all of his possessions and give the money to the poor. He left because he had many possessions and could not bring himself to give them up. He put his money and his possessions above doing the right things for the common good. He was unwilling to pay that price.

Not even the most ardent Socialists are espousing that you must give all that you have to help the poor; however, they are asking that everyone, especially the rich, give to support the common good of all. For the rich that price will be larger, because they have much to begin with; but for all there is a price we must pay to support the common good.

Recently we have been challenged as a nation by a virus that seeks to do harm to our common good. This far, many have not shown the willingness to pay the price (wearing masks, social distancing and good hygiene) for the common good. Those who refuse are essentially removing themselves from the common good and saying to the rest of us, “I’ve got my health; you go get your own.”

The choice is ours to make, like the choice give to the rich man by Jesus. Do we do what is right for the common good or do we wander off mumbling to ourselves about the price being too high, like the rich man. In this case, the mumbling will likely be caused by trying to talk while on a ventilator. I choose to make the sacrifices that I am ask to make for the common good of us all.

Mask up people!

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Posted by Norm Werner

A year of great discontent…

July 11, 2020

In a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, pastor Freed used this very apropos quote – “Progress is not created by contented people.”  (Frank Tyger)

One does not need to be a scholar or history buff to know that most, if not all, of the changes (both large and small) that have happened in America grew out of someone’s discontent with the status quo. Even at our beginning as a new nation, many in what became known as America were content to be subjects of England and the rule of the English King. Throughout our history as a nation is has been discontent that changed the course of that history. Our discontent with staying put on the eastern side of the continent took the form of “Manifest Destiny” that drove explorers (and later settlers) westward. Discontent with the immorality of slavery eventually led to the Emancipation Proclamation. Later, discontent with the social, legal and economic situation that had evolved in the nation, mostly in the southern regions of the country, led to the Civil Rights Movement. It could be said that man’s discontent with being stuck on the surface of our planet led to the creation of aviation and later space flight and our moon landing. There are tons of other examples and all were driven by someone’s discontent with the existing situation.

The word “content” is relatively benign. It means – “in a state of peaceful happiness”. For some who do not see the problems at hand, that may actually mean “in a state of blissful ignorance”. For others is more of a state of “resigned acceptance” of things that are wrong. A lack of concern about anyone but ourselves can lead to a state of numbness or callousness about the events happening around us. Others may take offense at any disturbance of their otherwise serene and prosaic environment.

The year 2020 is proving to be a year of great discontent. The discontent over the sexual exploitation of women in the educational, entertainment and business worlds carried over from 2019, with almost weekly exposures of new grievances. The jarring changes mandated by state governments in response to the COVID-19 Pandemic caused great discontent and exposed a long-festering rebellion against government authority and the basic concepts of society by groups on the fringes of society. Discontent boiled over into the streets in matters of race and inequality of opportunity in America. While the trigger for the protests in the street was the murder of a black man in Minnesota, the underlying discontent was with the continued and pervasive racial biases that dictate the day-to-day lives of people of color in America.

What will come out of all of this discontent? The hope is that changes will be made at a systemic level. Changes will be required to laws that support the bad behavior; but more importantly, changes will be required at the personal level. It really doesn’t matter if the law says it is illegal to discriminate, if we still do that in our hearts and minds at every encounter with someone different from us. That change will take longer and is impossible to legislate. Real change starts with you and with me. We must become discontented with not only the things that are happening around us that we know are wrong, but with our reaction (or lack of reaction) to those things. As I have opined here a few times, it is those “things left undone” that we must pray for forgiveness about, as well as the things that we may have done.

If you are to “love thy neighbor as yourself” you cannot start from a position of fear, hate and bias. Be discontented with that state of mind and seek to change it. Do not become satisfied and content with a state of affairs that positions you in comfort and safety while leaving many of those around you in poverty and despair. Take no comfort from your good fortune while ignoring the needs of your neighbors. Inequities are at the root of many of the problems that are causing the discontent that we see in our society right now – inequities of positional power or economics or opportunity. The systemic changes that are need must be aimed at identifying and righting those inequities.

If Tyger was right, this should be a year of great change, since it is already a year of great discontent. Let’s all look for the good that can come out of this discontent.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What is the new normal? It is simple.

July 7, 2020

Pastor Jack Freed used this quote this morning in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words – “Everything is simple.”  (Mike Corrao)

Jack when on to write about keeping things simple and not overthinking things. He used the example of how a child might think about things – simple and straightforward, without the guile that comes with age. He also cited the words of Jesus – “Unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Luke 18:9-17)

The point is that, in order to keep things simple, we need to avoid overthinking them and loading them up with interpretations, conspiracy theories and other mental baggage that are just figments of our imagination. We must accept things as they are and as they happen and then adjust our lives to fit the situation. Changing the way things are is not an option. Changing the way we react to things is within our power.

We hear a lot about the “new normal” these days, on the news shows and in conversations. We also see quite a few stories about people who are trying to deny or resist the changes that are required to live normally these days – those who refuse to wear masks or practice social distancing is the name of personal freedom.

One might logically ask, what is “normal”? The dictionary defines it as “the usual, average, or typical state or condition”. The thing is that normal is, and always will be, a moving target. What was normal yesterday will not necessarily define what is normal today.  A simple example is how we dress each day. “Normal” dress during the summer months is quite different from that which is expected and normal during the winter months.

The reason that we seldom notice and rail against most of the changes to our normal lives is that those changes usually take place over an extended period. We have time to adjust. Certain events like deaths often happen suddenly and without warning and they do disturb our normal lives. Many changes are so small that we don’t perceive how our lives have changed to accommodate them or we have time to adjust our reactions to those changes.

Then there is a pandemic and everything changes rapidly and greatly. Our “normal” lives are turned upside down and nothing feels normal anymore. What are we to do? Perhaps the advice that Jesus was trying to convey provides the answer. We must become like children, accept the changes and go on with life. Trying to resist the change that COVID-19 has brought with it is both futile and harmful. Those who refuse to accept it, refuse to wear masks in public and refuse to social distance as a means of keeping others safe are like the little child who throws a fit when things don’t go his or her way. Central to their behavior is their absolute self-centered refusal to be concerned for the safety and well-being of others.

Jesus told us that we must love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39), not that we must love ourselves above our neighbors. Not practicing the safety measures that our health experts have recommended to keep others safe is a sure sign that we are not heading Jesus message. Wearing a mask and social distancing is not about you; it is about committing to the safety of those around you – it is about loving your neighbors. It is simple. It is about doing what is right.

So, what is our new normal? It is all of the things that are expected of us to fulfill our roll as part of a society and not as an anarchy of individuals. It is showing love and respect for our neighbors by doing the things that have been recommended to keep us all safe. It is being childlike in our acceptance of the changes required in our daily lives without throwing childlike fits when those changes make reasonable demands upon us. It is acting upon the words of Jesus to love our neighbors as ourselves and doing our part to keep them safe.

It really is simple.  It is the new normal.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What would you see?

July 5, 2020

A recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote – “I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.”  (Converse shoe ad)

It is very difficult for anyone to take an objective look at himself or herself. Every now and then, I’ll see a picture that someone else took of me and maybe posted on social media and it always surprises me that I look like the picture. I know it is m;, but, it is not how I picture myself in my mind. I’m not sure what veil of ego or deception I pull over my eyes when I look in a mirror, but somehow I don’t quite see what the camera saw.

Of more importance than our physical appearance to others, it is the “person” that others see that would be most interesting to understand. Do they see the thoughtful, honest and kind person that I think I am; or, do they see someone different?  Do vestiges of prejudice or racism somehow show through the façade that I may think I am displaying? Do the overt actions that I am taking sufficiently cover the nagging fears or uncertainties that persist in the recesses of my mind? What would I “see” if I could see me from the viewpoint of others?

An interesting observation that I have shared here before is that most people don’t realize how uninviting or even threatening their “at rest” facial appears can be to others.  When we are not overtly trying to smile or even to frown, our faces settle into a relaxed or “at rest” state. Our face sags a bit and our lips droop, sometimes turning into a frown. For many it just looks like we are being serious about something, but for some, our continence takes on a look of anger or disgust. To find to what your at rest face looks like have someone take pictures of you when you are not expecting it and not doing anything in particular. You may be surprised.

Physical appearances aside, the person that others “see” is heavily influenced by things like what you say and how you talk, as well as the thing that you actually do. How differently do you see (judge) people who use good English and can talk in complete sentences verses those who punctuate their conversation with vapid verbal fillers, such as “like” or “you know”. How much more attention do you pay to the words of a person who is able to express themselves well verses those who couch everything they say in slang or vulgarity. What would I see if I were able to listen to myself as others do? Would I be likely to believe what I am hearing, at least accept it as a reasonable, albeit different point of view, or just dismiss it as the ravings of an ignorant person?

While it is impossible to really see yourself as others see you, there is value in pausing every now and then to examine one’s position on matters that are occurring in our lives. We are seldom self-aware enough to really understand what is motivating our actions and decisions unless we take that pause and think about it. As I have opined here in the past, we use a prayer for forgiveness in our church service that asks God for forgiveness for the things that we have done and those that we have left undone. We may be more aware of why we do the things that we do, but less aware of the things that we leave undone for reasons that we just don’t think about. The man begging on the street that I did not stop to help sees the things that I left undone, not the many good things that I may have done.

As you pause and try to understand what is motivating your actions and reactions, you may catch glimpses of what others “see” in you. If you don’t like what you see, it’s time to make changes. See the post, “What to change to make real change”.

I’ll be seeing you.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Show the world what you believe…

June 27, 2020

I saw a quote while searching for something on-line that I had to save, because it rang so true.

“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.”  (Sukhraj S. Dhillon)

A hallmark of the younger generations seems to be putting their beliefs into practice, at least for many who turn out in the streets to protest things that they believe are wrong. While their elders (which includes my generation) may share many of the same beliefs, they have not been labeled “the silent majority” for no reason. Their actions and behaviors do not reflect those beliefs. Why is that?

While the term “politically correct” was coined more recently, most of us who are older grew up in a society where standing out or being noticed for your actions in support of yor beliefs was discouraged from a very young age. The old phrased “children should be seen but not heard” dates back to the late nineteenth century (and maybe earlier), but it was still the rule in the Twentieth Century. Most in the older generations were raised in an environment that encouraged “going along to get along”. That same environment encouraged us to look the other way when we saw racial injustices by the police or anyone and to tolerate the bigotry against gays and others who were “different”. Anyone showing empathy for the plight of any of those groups was immediately labeled a “bleeding heart liberal”, which was the precursor to today’s conservative hate label – “socialist”.

But, what of us, as individuals?

Events too large to ignore, like the Corona Virus Pandemic and the public outrage over recent police brutality against people of color test our beliefs and our behavior. Recent news stories about people congregating in bars and on beaches without regard to safety measures for themselves and others point to a society that is self-centered and bereft of societal concerns or obligations. This is a reflection of the “I got mine, you go get your own” mentality that drives us much of the time. And, the protest marches over recent police killings of people of color have yet to drive meaningful action or reform in Washington or at many State and local levels.

You may be tempted to say, “What can I do about that?” You can start by wearing a mask in public and practicing social distancing. That is not an act of selfishness; it is an act of regard for the well-being of those around you. Perhaps you are not the type to take to the streets to protest, but you can take to the ballot box to vote. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable shouting slogans at a rally; but, you can put a sign in your yard in support of a candidate or an idea. You may not take the megaphone to shout for justice; but you can talk to your friends and express your concerns and opinions. You can at least put your beliefs into some form of behavior that shows the world the beliefs you hold. If you get really brave, you can volunteer at a local food bank or shelter – actually doing something about the hunger that exists in every community, instead of just being concerned about it.  

Beliefs that are hidden away or suppressed are like faith that is not acted upon. The Bible tells us –

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. …”  (James 2:14-26)

I have a sign on my front lawn right now that shows a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr – “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

What matters to you? If you believe in something, show the world through your works as well as your words. Change your behavior to reflect your beliefs.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What to change to cause real change…

June 26, 2020

There is much in the news about demands for change and an end to discrimination of all types and the inequities that exist in our society. As I look back over quotes that I save from the Jack‘s Winning Words blog, two stood out as seeming to go together to provide a good starting point for accomplishing the needed changes.

“If you were to change the world, start with yourself.”  (Gandhi)

  • AND –

“If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”  (Mary Engelbreit)

People almost never look in the mirror and honestly say to themselves – “You are a part of the problem.” It is always “they” or “them” who are at fault – the bigots and haters that we see on the news. Yet it is those who remain silent and let things go on that facilitate that bigotry or wrong behavior. The bully who goes unchallenged by his/her peers that continues to bully others. The bigot who refuses to perform a service for, or sell a product to, a gay couple will continue to discriminate. The police who treat people of color differently will continue to harass and kill with impunity. If we see it and don’t say or do something, then we are a part of the problem and not of the solution.

In our prayers for forgiveness at church we pray that God will forgive us for the things that we have done and the things left undone. It is in those things left undone that we become part of the problem. Today’s quotes direct us to spend more time in reflection on our own thoughts and actions (or inaction). A good start is to examine how the nightly news stories about the demonstrations against police brutality make you feel.

Most white viewers likely have little frame of reference for empathy with the black demonstrators, unless they have been stopped and perhaps roughly treated by the police sometime in their past. For the most part, white people don’t view a stop by the police as a life-threatening event – it’s just an inconvenience. Compare that to the interviews that you see on the news about how blacks view interactions with the police. Their fears are palpable.

Perhaps then, your lack of empathy or even your indifference to the obvious issues that exist for people of color is a part of the problem- part of the things left undone. If you feel like you can’t, by yourself, change the problem, then take Mary Engelbreit’s advice and change the way that you think about it. Let that change in thinking also drive changes in your life. Not everyone can join in the marches and demonstrations; however, everyone can vote and elect new officials who will affect the changes that are needed.  Everyone can change the way that they interact with people who are different from them. Often, it is just that interaction itself which makes the difference.

Heeding Gandhi’s advice means starting by recognizing where you are today and giving yourself the goals to be someplace else tomorrow. What can you change about yourself to make you the person that you’d really like to be? What can you do to get yourself out of the safe comfort zone of indifference to the plight of others?  Start by changing the way that you think about it.

Now, that’s real change.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus through prayer…

June 23, 2020

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote – “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”  (Aristotle)

I have a feeling that for many the current COVID pandemic is their darkest moment, especially for those sickened by the virus. I have posted here in the past about hope and the four candles (or points of light) in our lives – Peace, Faith, Love and Hope (see Where there is hope there can never be complete darkness).

In that post I talked about a YouTube video that showed Hope being the last candle left burning when all others have faded in us; however, it has always bothered me that it was hope and not faith that was shown as the last candle burning in that video. I my mind, faith is what supports hope. If we have faith in God, we can continue to have hope that everything will be all right or at least that what happens is God’s will.

Therefore, in order to focus upon, and see, the light of hope during dark times; we must first clear our minds and vision through faith. We attain that focus through prayer.  It is in prayer that we are able to set aside our fears and uncertainty and appeal to God for His help getting through the crisis. It is in prayer that we are reassured that God will never leave us. In prayer, we rediscover that He will give us the strength to get through whatever challenges we face. Prayer allows us to focus upon and see the light of hope in that darkest hour.

Let us all take Aritotle’s advice and focus upon the light. In this case, let’s focus upon the light of faith, from which the lights of hope, love and peace will be relit in our lives. We can achieve that focus through prayer.

In the Bible, we are told – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” (Philippians 4:6,7)

-AND-

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (1 John 5:14)

It is that second to last part of the quote from John that we often don’t get – “ according to His will”. Too often, we see things only from our own perspective. We may say, I prayed that I wouldn’t get sick, but I did anyway. Alternatively, perhaps, I prayed that my dad, spouse, child wouldn’t die, but they did anyway. Don’t let the lights of faith and hope go out in your life. What happened was God’s will.  You can’t understand it, so don’t try. Just accept it and move on with your life.

Let your faith be the light from which the other candles of hope, love and peace are kept burning in your life.

Focus through prayer to see the light of faith in your life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t give up on me…

June 20, 2020

A recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote from a COVID-19 survivor – “Doc, thank you so much for not giving up on me.”  (Lung transplant survivor)

The lungs of the young lady who is quoted were so badly damaged by the virus that her only chance of survival was a double lung transplant, which the doctors at her hospital performed. She survived and left the hospital with a new life ahead of her.

In our lives we are seldom faced with such a crisis, but we do face the realities of the bad things that happen to us or the bad things that we might have done. In the Lord ’s Prayer, we ask for forgiveness for those “trespasses” and promise to forgive those who trespass against us. Sometimes the hardest part is that part about forgiving those who we believe (or know) have wronged us in some way.

In our church service a week ago, we remembered the Emanuel Nine – the nine South Carolina church members killed in the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church five year ago by Dylann Roof. Possibly the most amazing part of the entire story have been the reports of the surviving church members who have come forward to say that they have forgiven Root.

As we think about our own lives and the trespasses that we might have committed or those that were committed against us (real or imagined) it is important that we not only pray for the forgiveness of our trespasses , but that we also pray for help forgiving those who we believe wronged us somehow. Only by letting go of the pain and anger that we hold for those people and forgiving them will we be truly free to move forward in our own lives. It starts by acknowledging that God is with us in our lives, through the good and the bad. The Bible tells us…

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I wrote recently about things left undone (see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2020/06/13/things-left-undone/).  Forgiving those who trespass against us is often a very large thing left undone. We need God’s help with that.  Don’t give up on God, because He is not giving up on you.

Until we can get to that state of mind of forgiving our trespassers, perhaps we should add a modified version of that young woman’s thank you to her doctors to the end of our prayer s – God, thank you so much for not giving up on me.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Worrying doesn’t help…

June 15, 2020

From a recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog comes this Charlie Brown quote – “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening; It just stops you from enjoying the good.” 

Charles Schultz shared quite a bit of wisdom through his Peanuts comic strip of the years, as have other creators of great comic strips – the strip Calvin comes to mind. Today’s quote reminds us that worrying not only wastes time, but solves nothing and may actually cause harm by preventing one from seeing and enjoying the good things in life.

Worrying is certainly different from planning. One can look at some future event and do good planning for it – formulate a strategy for approaching it, what things to be aware of or to avoid and such. Planning is good. Worrying, however, is more about imagining all of the bad things that might happen, most of which are out of your control, and trying to think up solutions for them, too. Why worry about the weather, for instance, since you cannot control it. One may plan for bad weather by packing an umbrella or a jacket , in case it get cold; but spending time worrying about how it might change thins does not good.

At the root of our worries is something that I’ve opined her about in the past – our need to solve the unsolvable. Our minds are always trying to find the answer, to solve the problem, to see a way out of the situation. In many cases there is no solution, things just have to happen. In those cases, the “solution” is to let go and stop trying to find the solution. The prayer phrase, “Not my will, but Thy will be done” is the solution in those situations. Putting your trust in God’s hands and accepting that whatever happens He will be there with you to get you through it is the key to stopping the worrying.

Many times our worries are about upcoming interpersonal interactions – how will my date go or how will this person react to what I have to tell them. We are concerned (worried) about how we will be perceived by the other person or how the other person will react to the event. Maybe we are even afraid of the reaction the other person, and so we worry about it. None of that worry will have any effect on the situation, other than to consume us and prevent us from enjoying  other things in the interim.

Once you have given your worries to God, you are free to turn your attention to those good things that are going on in your life. You may be surprised how much that is good was going on around you while your attention was focused upon worrying. Maybe the Bobby McFerrin song “Don’t worry, be happy” will start playing in your mind.

There’s a new week ahead. Don’t worry, God’s got your back.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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