In yesterday’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog, Jack talked about becoming involved with other people’s lives with this quote – “Hey, I found your nose. It was in
my business again.” (Unknown)
Jack went on to mention that he has been involved in a few “interventions” that involved substance abuse. So, when is it OK to “stick your nose in?” Certainly, I would think, not in casual situations. If you overhear a conversation between strangers during which something is said that you feel strongly about, take Archie Bunker’s advice (usually to Edith, his wife on the TV show) and “stifle yourself”. Nobody likes to hear the advice or opinions of that type of busybody; so keep them to yourself.
But, what if it is a situation where a good friend of yours is involved? Maybe it is a domestic violence situation or some other marital problem. Maybe it’s not something that dramatic, but just a situation in which you feel that your advice may help. What 
then? I think it best to ask before you advise. Ask if you can help. Ask if they think that there is some value in you sharing your opinion or experiences in similar situations. Basically, you should ask permission to stick your nose into their business. Based upon the response that you get to asking, your nose should be able to tell you whether to go ahead or back off.
So, what about those so-called “interventions”? In most cases interventions are not something that the targeted person has asked for. Most will initially take the position that they don’t want or need your help. Some may make very persuasive arguments that they have everything under control and don’t need or want you to stick your nose into their business. That can put you in a tough spot, especially if you consider them to be a friend.
You don’t want to lose a friend, but you can’t just stand by and do nothing as they spin out of control. In those cases, your nose will tell you that you are doing the right thing, even if your friend doesn’t appreciate it at the time.
In the worst-case scenario, you may have to turn your friend into the authorities to prevent them from harming themselves or others. We have unfortunately become too much of a “don’t snitch” society and too little of a “friends don’t let friends commit crimes” society. Think of it this way – your friend has been possessed by a demon and needs help to escape its grasp. That demon may be drug addiction or depression or any number of other things that can pervert the thinking of the victim. I wrote about demons not too long ago – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2018/02/03/which-demons-live-within/
In some cases you become “nose dead” to the things going on around you. It’s not that you have gone over to the bad side, it’s actually worse – you’ve become apathetic. The enemy of good is not bad; it is apathy. If you find yourself just not caring about the things 
that are wrong that you see going on around you, perhaps it is time for a self-intervention. Perhaps you are seeking permission for yourself, before you stick your nose in. Open your bible and find it there. There are tons of references in the bible about doing things for others, but the most direct is this one – “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” – Philippians 2:4
What are the interests of other? Your nose knows; trust it to lead you in the right direction. Don’t be a busybody, be a good friend. “The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” – Proverbs 12:26
When in doubt, in the words of Froot Loops Toucan Sam – “Follow your nose.”
Posted by Norm Werner 
direction that can lead to anxiety, loneliness and depression. That, too, is a direction and not a destination. You really don’t want to get to the way stations in that direction. There may also be stops at frustration, anger, remorse and other nasty places in that direction.
people’s lives.” She doesn’t call herself a “coach”, but that is what she is doing through her writings and personal sessions with people.
medicines or trying to play the role of a psychologist or psychiatrist. Using a coach is like having a good talk with your mom or dad when you were a kid; only now you’re grown up and maybe you don’t really want to share your problems with mom or dad. Your coach takes on the role of parent or good buddy, but without the embarrassment factor. That allows them to talk straight to you about things that you may need to change, things that you are doing wrong that are screwing up your life and have you headed in the wrong direction.
towards a much better place.
forward it to one of my coach friends or maybe you can find a happiness coach in your area. Don’t continue down the path of unhappiness. You really don’t want to go there.
world around us). It is easy to become complacent, one might use the advertising phrase “nose dead”, to the needs that are right in our own back yards. There is not a city, town, or village in America that does not have people living out on the edge. Some are homeless, many are hungry, some are trapped in the world of substance abuse, some have mental problems, but all need help just to survive. Most of the time we do not “see” these people because we choose not to look. We are too busy with our own lives to worry about them. We think, someone else will take care of them. Sometimes that is ground that we choose not to walk upon, because we might get our nice new shoes all dirty.
want to walk with Jesus.
what they perceive as different, un-Godly sins. Apparently, they have decided that some sins are so egregious to their way of thinking that even Jesus’ death on the cross can’t atone for them. Can you imagine these so-called Christians being judges at the winter Olympics. If a gay ice skater performed a flawless program they would be holding up scores of 2 or 3 because they can’t get past their homophobia. Somehow, the concept of propitiation is eluding them.
sinners and all sins, no matter how egregious they may seem to us. Are the sins of bigotry, racism, hate and prejudice any less than the sin that is perceived by some “Christians” in people who embrace a different sexual orientation? Remembering that Jesus reached out beyond the boundaries of the Jewish faith and lifestyle and welcomed all of the people, who are we to draw new boundaries that exclude some of those whom Jesus would have welcomed?
their Bibles as they proclaim the sins of others to be outside the power of Jesus to forgive. They have wandered away from the truth and the light and now dwell in the darkness with a new master. They spew forth hate and contempt for those that they see as different and preach the false message of an unforgiving God; a God who somehow has forgotten the act of propitiation that His Son Jesus performed as atonement for all of our sins.
They also learn about us from watching how we behave, as do others around us. You don’t have to become paranoid about it; but, it is something to keep in mind, that all of those who are around us on a daily basis either learn something about us from watching or they form some opinion about us based on those observations.
How many times have you seen someone that you didn’t know do something stupid and immediately you had had the reaction, “What a jerk.” You don’t really know if they are normally a jerk or not, but that was your first impression of them. If you were that person you certainly would hope that this isn’t their lasting impression of you, based upon that one incident.
several options being quickly presented to deal with the situation at hand. For Christians one option that should come to mind every time is the old standby, “What would Jesus do?” That is a great option because it makes us pause further to think about an answer to that question. Jesus never took the path of the jerk.
“What do you want from me? What decisions do I need to make and what should I base those decisions upon?” Sometimes those decisions have no moral content; but, sometimes they do and that is where having the right moral base is important. It is that base, or moral compass, that allows you to make decisions about right or wrong in life. You know what is wrong. Don’t go there.
to consult before acting or reacting. They may lash out or lash back at some perceived insult, rather than finding it in their hearts to forgive. Their lives are full of open sores at which they constantly pick and make worse. Don’t go there.
who desperately needs a friend right now. Maybe it was a wake-up call to you to try harder to understand what is troubling them and find a way to help. It in no way really hurts you, unless you let it. Don’t go there.
you, you are prepared to learn how to cope with anything because you are standing on the solid base of your faith. “Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.” – John 5:5
a “peace that passes all understanding” when we join Jesus in Heaven.
to let it go, to put it in the past and get on with life. Instead, we beat up ourselves for what we perceive were our mistakes or we blame others for their influence on the outcome of things. There is no peace to be found in playing the “coulda, woulda, shoudla” game over and over in our minds.
He is taking you. I’ve shared the little prayer that I use many time, but I truly believe that it is the key to achieving peace. I just stop myself, usually in the midst of what my ego is telling me is a crisis that I must somehow try to control, and quietly say to God, “Not my will but thy will be done.” I usually experience an immediate sense of peace and the crisis fades into the background noise of life. Try it. Maybe it will help you achieve peace, too.
at all, either within the heat of the moment or in a more calculating way. Seeking revenge for some wrong that one perceives has been committed against them goes directly against the principals of Christianity. In Matthew Chapter 5, verses 38-40, Jesus said, “38 You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[
that you have lowered yourself to the level of the person who you believe has wronged you and that never feels good. A second evil action does not make right the initial evil action. Rather, reaching out with forgiveness and love to that person not only makes you feel better, but it may help them, too. They may secretly be regretful of the hurt that they have caused and your forgiveness will bring closure to that regret and may bring you a new friend as well. Nothing works better to smother the flames of hate than a blanket of love thrown over the flames.
being just the way that people understood or tried to explain things at the time. After all, they didn’t have Google back then; so, there was no way to look up what might be causing a behavior or an ailment or illness. Declaring that the person must be possessed by a demon was as good of an explanation as any and was widely accepted.
demons live within us to some extent. It is only through our faith that we control these demons or cast them out. Sometimes incidents in our daily lives let one of more of these demons out and they temporarily control us. News stories of “road rage” provide an example of a personal demon that took temporary control of that person.
demons that were within them that wanted them to hate that person and found a way to express God’s love to them.
Maybe the demon of depression has seized control of your life and cast you into a dungeon of darkness. Perhaps that little demon of self-doubt has grown into a monster inside of you and now you seek to hide from the world. Maybe you have let the demon of complacency or the distractions of the world lead you away from church and your faith.
“Cellist Pablo Casals was asked why he continued to practice at age 90. ‘Because I think I am making progress,’ he replied.” (Seattle Opera post). Jack went on to write about his grandmother who was still reading her Bible at age 92, even though she needed a magnifying glass to do so. She was still learning about God and Jesus and making progress in her relationship with God.
Him and form that relationship. That guidance is contained in the Bible. Fortunately, for us, the Bible tells us that we have also been given a guide. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6).
express this ego-restricted view of the world in our religious art, which always depicts God in our own image. We have a hard time conceiving of something that we cannot depict in a material way.
of faith”. Jesus beacons us to jump and trust that He will catch us and take us the rest of the way.
progress.” It is a journey that I realize that I will not finish on this earth; but, I hope that I get enough done here to be able to continue the journey in Heaven.
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