The streets still echo with his steps…

January 18, 2016

“When you are right you cannot be too radical.  When you are wrong you cannot be too conservative.”  (MLK Jr) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

MLK image over DOwntown MIlfordOn this Martin Luther King day, America and the world are still struggling with many wrongs that need righting, many injustices that beg for justice and many old prejudices that seem to refuse to die. People still take to the streets, as they did in King’s day seeking redress of the wrongs, although many times not as peacefully as he would have liked. Too often there is still a lack of recognition between the right and wrong positions in many of the areas that still cause division and pain. There is too much of a mentality of “them vs. us”; rather than searching for a solution that involves “we”.

The struggles that Dr. King lead, that were so clearly defined along racial lines, have expanded to embrace other groups who are discriminated against because of their differences; not only differences of appearance, but differences in lifestyles. Other groups have added their ethnicity to the discrimination issue fight and a growing issue concerning religious beliefs has begun to creep into the conversation. And, the streets that Dr. King marched upon have not fallen silent. To this day we have people of color marching in the streets caring signs that say “black lives matter”; and new groups marching with them with signs that say “all lives matter.”

In a perversion of Dr. King’s thought, some of the most wrong in America do call themselves Conservatives and seek to justify their discriminatory actions my proclaimingopinionated their righteousness in their “defense of American Family values.” Apparently they think it is OK to discriminate so long as they also proclaim themselves to be evangelicals who are mounting a Bible-based defense of American life as they define it. What’s that old saying about two wrongs not making a right? That’s apparently not in their Bible.

Dr. King might be proud of some of the progress that has been made in the struggles that he led; but he also would surely recognize the unleveled playing fields that still exist. The people that he led can ride the buses and eat in the restaurants now, but the same factions that he was fighting back then still own the buses and the restaurants – and almost everything else. There are laws that allow for redress of wrongs; but also many laws or loopholes that protect those who commit the wrongs, especially at the economic level.

Jim Crow may have put away his guns and called off his dogs, but he did not give up control; he just found a less obvious and violent way to exert it – thru economics and rich man poor manpolitical power. He also found new adversaries to try to hold in check – those who were different from him in almost any way. For quite some time this new strategy worked well by employing tactics such as direct political contributions, Political Action Committees and gerrymandering to maintain political power. That political power allowed the structuring of laws that stripped away what power the masses has accumulated through the tort process or via organized labor. Rather rapidly, in terms of history, those in power amassed most of the wealth of the country, too. Now the top 1% of the world’s people control 99% of the wealth of the entire world, and with that wealth they can buy all of the power that they need to maintain their positions.

I’m not sure if Dr. King would have wanted to lead the coming class wars against this oligarchy, but I think he would have seen it coming and understood that it is both necessary and a noble struggle; one in which it will be impossible to be too radical. The “Occupy Movement” was more of a baby step than a real opening salvo in this war. Historyrich snob is full of instances of the people eventually getting fed up with existing on the crumbs that fall off the tables of the rich rulers and rising up against them.

Those will not be echoes of Dr. King’s marches or distant drums that you will hear but the pounding of millions of feet on the streets of the world and they will all be carrying the same sign that reads – “our lives matter”. The 1% cannot buy enough politicians or arm enough police to hold back this movement. Did someone on Wall Street
say “let them eat cake?”


Wouldn’t it be a hoot…

January 17, 2016

The silly season is upon us all again as the Presidential Primary Season approaches. I think
it would be an absolute hoot if Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders were selected as their party’s candidates. Can you image the fun of seeing in the debate the
biggest, conservative billionaire blowhard vs. the avowed Socialist, whose motto is “Have the courage to take on the billionaire class”? What a hoot that would be, if only it weren’t such a sad commentary on the state of political affairs in America.

This year’s silly season is the most silly and vicious that I have ever witnessed and has disagreement2certainly exposed the carnage that rabid partisanship has wrecked upon both parties. The huge philosophical divide between the parties and the lack of interest in any compromise has left the entire middle of the political spectrum abandoned and ripe for a third party effort. Unfortunately, the only way that anyone can mount a campaign effort for President these days is to first acquire a billion dollars or more.

Imagine the ridiculous scene it would be to have these two populist politicians even trying to debate. One can only imagine the biting satirical thrusts of Sanders on the income inequity issue that has become his hallmark cause and the animated and bombastic tirades (sans any need for fact or logic) that Trump would launch in retort. Perhaps Sanders attack on the greedy heart of capitalism would even cause the Donald to forget for the moment his plan to block any further middle-eastern immigration and put those already here from the middle-east under surveillance.  To further expose the intolerance and bigotry of Trump (and the Republican party) Sanders could choose as his Vice-Presidential running mate a member of the GLBT community who was born in America of naturalized, but foreign-born parents and who espouses a woman’s right to choose and tougher gun control laws. Trump would be so flummoxed that he would likely be unable to get a single sane word out.

We hear every political pundit saying that Sanders has no chance to be the Democratic nominee and few pundits had given Trump a chance to even get as far as he has, so far. Interestingly enough, many so-called political experts are now starting to hedge on Trump’s chances and even Sanders has surprised many in the latest round of polls. Strange things can happen when the system gets skewed so far off center, as it is right now.

I don’t like to watch political debates, since they are little more than strings of campaign debaterssound bites and personal attacks along the candidates; however, I did recently watch the reruns of the last republican “debate”. It was obvious that the closer to the center of the stage a candidate was placed measured not only his current polling strength, but also his adherence to the tea party conservative line. The only candidates who made statements that seemed to both thoughtful and reasonable in a political environment that is begging for compromise were the politicians relegated to the far ends of the stage. Of course they spent most of the evening off camera.

The decline in civility that has accompanied the ideological split in Washington is also on display during the debates for both parties. Watching the debates, one comes away with the impression that is essentially a contest between a bunch of scum-bags and your choice is which scum-bag you decide to hold your nose and vote for in the primaries. If one believes all of the rhetoric, none of the candidates is trustworthy, none will end up doing what they say that they will do and the country is in grave danger if any of them are elected. Both parties and their stalwarts claim that the other side has run the country into the ground, are providing morally corrupt leadership and will lead to the end of America as we know it if their candidate is elected.

One is reminded, of course that this has always been the case in American politics. From the PhillyMagazine web site comes this (edited for this post) – It all began in 1796, when Alexander Hamilton attacked Thomas Jefferson on the pages in Gazette of the United States, a federalist paper in Philadelphia. Hamilton claimed that Jefferson was having a love affair with one of his slaves (which, of course, turned out to be true). Hamilton went on to call Jefferson a coward. In that same election, Supporters of John Adams also claimed that Jefferson’s election would result in a civil war, that he would free the slaves, and that he was an atheist. As for his supporters, they were “cut-throats who walk in rags and sleep amid filth and vermin.” The language has changed a bit but the vitriol has remained.  To read more about Americas history of mudslinging Presidential Campaigns click here.

In the case of our current Presidential campaign one can take offense at the statements being made within or between parties or treat it like the political circus that it is and enjoydumb and dumber it.  At least it is somewhat like a modern TV comedy, filled with ridiculous characters sparing with each other with words rather than swords. Like a TV show, or a movie, it requires that you suspend your disbelief for a period and just enjoy it, laugh along and don’t think about the horrible consequences of any of these clowns actually get elected. It’s only a hoot if you don’t stop to cry.


Don’t worry about it…

January 15, 2016

“There are two kinds of worries—those you can do something about and those you can’t.  Don’t spend any time on the latter.”  (Duke Ellington)

panicI’ve written here a few time about wasting time and energy on worrying about stuff, rather than coming up to fix things that you can do something about. The secret to success in Ellington’s little quote is figuring out the difference between those things that you can do something about and those that you can’t. Unfortunately this is not an easy skill to develop r to consistently apply in our everyday lives. The result is that we spend too much time worrying about things that we can’t change, impact or fix.

worriesLet’s face it, there are many problems in the world around us that are worrisome, but which we can do little about. World hunger, wars, diseases, income and wealth inequities come to mind, as do a number of other very large and very widespread problems that we sometime worry about. Some find a solution to their worries by jumping into some cause or movement that is focused upon these bigger problems and that’s not a bad thing, if you can let go of your personal worry and focus on the group mission.

There are also big issues that may be too big for any one individual to solve, but which at least lend themselves to some individual efforts that may have impact. Bullying, for
bully.pnginstance, while too wide spread of an issue to be solved by one person, is such that the actions of each individual are helpful and additive towards resolving the problem. If one takes the attitude and approach that the end of bullying begins with me, then there may be one less action or statement or display that reinforces the practice. The foundation of change is to stop the old way and then go forward from that fresh beginning. Stopping bullying when you see it or standing up for those being bullied removes one more worry from your plate, because you could do something about that and you did.

Many of our worries are really based upon fears with the biggest contributors being fear of
failure and fear of rejection. Some of us spend so much time worrying about failure that weask for dance never even try the thing at which we are worried about failing. In our personal relations, our worries (fears) about possibly being rejected keep us in our seats instead of asking the girl or guy of our dreams for a dance or a date. Those, too, are worries that we can do something about.

You must confront those fears and overcome them. What is the worst that could happen – that he/she says NO? Would you still be alive? Would there still be hope that someday in the future that answer could change? The answers are yes, so don’t spend all of yoOh crapur time worrying about the consequences of an action that you are to frozen by fear to even take. Go for it! Do it! It won’t kill you and maybe you’ll even get the answer that you hoped for and not the one that you are spending all of your time worrying about. If you want to worry about something, worry about where you’ll go on the date or whether or not you can dance if you get the chance. It least those are things that you can do something about.

So, back to our initial topic from the quote; I think it’s important in life to develop at least some ability to sort out the things that you are worrying about into those two classes – things that you can do something abort and things that you can’t. Once sorted you may find comfort in the little prayer that I’ve referenced many time here before for those things that you now realize that you can’t do something about. Just lay them in God’s hands by praying, “Not my will but thy will be done.” Then let those things go and go on to working on the things that you can do something about. You’ll worry less and get more done that way.

Have a great, worry-free weekend!


It’s just a boo-boo; you’ll live…

January 14, 2016

“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.”  (John Sinclair) – as seen recently on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

I really like that little saying because it is such an appropriate way to think about the failures and setbacks in our lives. The analogy holds up to a good deal of thought, too. Usually the event that causes a bruise involves something that causes pain first – a bump or a fall or running into something. It hurts at that instance and then your body may turn the site of the bump it into a bruise. The bruise still hurts, if you poke at it; but over time it heals and goes away. Of course, if the incident was traumatic enough to have broken or cut the skin, you may also end up with a scar instead of just a bruise. Scars are more like tattoos: they stay with you for a long time, but they, too, fade away over time. Some failures in life may leave scars, too.

Remember when you were little and fell off your bike or ran into the door while trying to mother with childrun away playing tag. It hurt; but, your mom kissed it and told you it was just a boo-boo and that you’d be OK – you’d live. Life’s failure are much the same, only mom isn’t there anymore. If you’re lucky you have a life partner who can kiss you and tell you that it’s just a boo-boo and that you’ll live. That failure is just a bruise (primarily to your ego) it’s not a tattoo. It may take a while for the bruise to heal and for you to forget about it, but it will heal eventually and you will forget and move on with life.

There are things that can tattoo you for life and I suppose that they might be called failures; although most of them are called crimes. Having a criminal record, especially for the more heinous crimes definitely act like tattoos on those who commitment. The record follows them around and some crimes involving sex or children or both result in those tattoos being registered in databases that all in the public can see. The exceptions usually involve juvenile offenders whose youthful criminal records are expunged when they turn 21. It’s sort of like having that tattoo removed through laser surgery.

Other things that we experience may causes bruises in our lives. The loss of a loved one, remorsefulrejection by someone that we hoped would be a loved one, loss of a job, divorce and more can all cause bruises. All of those bruises heal over time, though some require quite a bit longer than others.

There is a corollary saying that also rings true – “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” You may not think that the healing of that latest life bruise will make you stronger; but, you will learn something from it, you will know better the next time and you may be able to avoid getting bruised again by the same thing or person. If you develop the ability to look at life’s failures and setbacks as temporary bruises, it will make life much less stressful or depressing when you have those failures.

If you don’t have a loved one to turn to for a kiss and the reassurance that everything will be OK – that you’ll live; turn to the One who is always there for every boo-boo in life, the One who will never judge you or abandon you; the One to whom you can and will turn to even in the final moment of your life – embrace God and let Him kiss your boo-boo and make it better. In fact, even if your mom is still there, or you do have a loved one that you share your life with; taking your boo-boos and bruises to God in prayer will speed the healing. As you get older you may get a bit cynical about the medicinal impact of mom’s kisses, but you should never lose faith in the healing power of God.

If you must get a tattoo, get a small cross tattooed somewhere where you can look at it when yo need to. Then, in those times when something has just happened that you know is going to leave a bruise WWJDor maybe even a scar; you can look at that tattoo and say out loud, “this is the only thing that is permanent in my life.” That will start the healing process. If you really don’t want a tattoo, get one of those bracelets that have WWJD engraved or printed on them and wear that; because what Jesus would do is kiss your boo-boo and make it better.

It’s just a boo-boo: you’ll live and you’ll be stronger for it. Have a great day.


Don’t try to explain it, just believe…

January 13, 2016

Every now and then I get off on an ego trip and think that I should try to tackle some really weighty topic here, like religion. I started down that rat hole recently.  One theme that I biblehad in mind was to write about the various books or spiritual writings that underpin the religions of the world. The Bible was the one that I am most familiar with and I knew the names of a few others from some of the religions that I at least know exist.

So, off I went on the Internet, making various Google inquiries to try to see what might be out there to read for some research. What a dumb idea! Within 5 minutes it became world religious symbolsapparent that the topic and the approach that I was taking are both overwhelming. Just looking at the so-called “major” religions of the world yielded more than 55; most of them having various books or writings which provide the foundation for the beliefs and practices of the believers in those religions.

The list if spiritual writings would have numbered in the hundreds and the list spanned everything from complete books to some ancient stone tablets and even included some fairly modern essays. That brought to mind the thought that a new religion might be based upon beliefs found on the writings in modern communications media, such as blog posts. I suppose that would be possible; although, I think a religion based upon Tweets would be too light weight to survive the test of time.

This definition of religions from the BBC web site that I found to be most interesting, mainly because it is generic and inclusive enough that it can be applied to all 55 of the world’s major religions:

Religion can be explained as a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

It was interesting that in almost every case the original religions have undergone numerous splits into factions, each with a different take on the practice of the religion or different interpretation of the same supporting materials and beliefs. It does not take one long to see the hand of man in all of the world’s religions or to recognize the influence of the human ego in the editing and presentation of the various religious scripts and books that exist. Since most claim to be divinely guided, it must have kept God busy, or at least amused for some time, as each new translation or interpretation required His “divine guidance”.

Of similar interest is the art that accompanies the writings for many religions. Again the ego of man is center stage with depictions of the major figures within the religion looking amazingly like modern men of whatever region the artworks for that religion is based within. The exceptions seem to be the far eastern religions where many of the “Gods” of the religions are certainly depicted as looking anything but human. Maybe that’s where the “superhuman agency” aspect is applied.

A fairly consistent, but somewhat troubling, theme that runs through most of these religions is that the adherents truly believe that their God is the only true God and that they are the onlydisagreement2 ones who “get it.” They are “the chosen ones”, so to speak. That serves to provide the underlying justification for much of the “them vs. us” mentality that is presently associated in the modern world with religions, at least in some places. Very few of the religions of the world actually recognize the other religions and most look with pity or disdain on those who do not believe as they do. The docks of human history are apparently filled with those who missed the boat on the one and only true religion when it sailed.

Of course there is always the possibility that all of the world’s religions are “true” and that the names that various religions have associated with the “superhuman agency” that they believe in all point to the same enigmatic entity. Since man has appointed himself the author, editor, keeper and interpreter of his own religious texts and books, he has essentially documented his religions in ways that made sense to him in whatever place and time he began to believe. The creators and keepers of the written materials stifle all argument within the community of believers, as I said earlier, by claiming that the words that were written and the edits that were later made were all “divinely guided.”  How convenient for them.

The further down this rat hole that I went the more it became clear that this is a topic that defies logic or clear explanation, and is a topic that is not to be tackled within the confines of a blog post. That was OK, because it brought me back to the beginning and the realization that religion is something that really cannot be explained, but must just be believed. We make personal choices in our lives about which religion to affiliate with and what and how much to believe, as well as which of the rituals to observe. That also serves to differentiate religions from faith, since faith has no requirements for dogma or ritual observances. Each can exist without the other

The practice of our faith, through religion fills a very real need in our lives and the ability alone at sunsetto set aside logic and just believe allows us to accept that which we cannot explain. As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it – “All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”  The fact that moral codes have been created around those beliefs also provides a needed part of a civilized social structure. We need religion in our lives because without it there is a vexing void in our understanding of the world and what is happening around us. Religions help us define the boundaries in life, beyond which you do not need to understand, just believe.

So, I’m not going to spend any more time trying to explain religion, I’m just going to go back to believing. However, maybe I’ll spend a little time praying for all of the unfortunate people who missed the boat on in my religion. Maybe they just don’t get it.


Saying goodbye to Ziggy Stardust, Major Tom and the Thin White Duke…

January 12, 2016

All of the press coverage of the death of David Bowie got me to thinking about the era’s that he spanned in my life. While many may have only known his later works, I was at least around during all of his performing years and witness to the various transformations that he made as a performer.

Young David BowieBowie was apparently classified originally as a folk and blues singer when he started in the mid-1960’s. He quickly morphed into what might be called an early version of fusion in the 1970’s during which he explored the combinations of a wide variety of emerging trends and sounds in his albums. That set the stage for the emergence of his Ziggy Stardust persona at the end of the 1970’s and into the 1980’s. Never one to stand pat with a character for too long, he then morphed through a number of new stage personas. There is a definitive web presentation of the 12 stages of Bowie’s stage life to be found at –  http://flavorwire.com/377128/a-journey-through-the-12-ages-of-david-bowie/3

Some of Bowie’s most creative work occurred in the 1970’s as he explored the fusion of Ziggy Stardustvarious music styles, some of which were just emerging at the time. Bowie himself was transitioning and maturing in his musical style. Near the end of that era he created the Ziggy Stardust persona and his career took off at a whole new level. Here are some of his works from the 1970’s –  http://ultimateclassicrock.com/david-bowie-70s-album-tracks/

The 1980’s were commercially successful for Bowie but his work during that era is considered to be of vary uneven quality. A compilation album of his best work from the era was releast late in the 1980’s – http://www.allmusic.com/album/best-of-david-bowie-1980-1987-mw0000577331

later bowieScott Parker did a good review of Bowie’s work during the 1990’s, an era when he tried to get back to his roots, with mixed success. Bowie was also an Internet pioneer and in 1998 launched Bowienet in an early attempt to reach out directly to his fans – a precursor to where the music industry ended up going. During this era Bowie took on the persona of the Thin White Duke and played in or collaborated with several bands. He also experimented with new sounds that presaged the alternative rock sound. Rolling stone has 20 of the songs of that era that, as they put it, only hardcore fans might know –  http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/20-insanely-great-david-bowie-songs-only-hardcore-fans-know-20140811/heathen-the-rays-20140811

There is a great deal of information about David Bowies life and performing career at the UK WikiPedia site – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bowie. It’s an interesting read and will probably give you a new appreciation for the longevity and influence that Bowie had in the music industry.

Before leaving Bowie had a long battle with cancer and had time to reflect on death and the afterlife, which are themes in his last album – Blackstar – which was released right before his death. The Lazarus track is considered to be his parting gift to his fans and to reflect how he was approaching his eminent death.

Whether you were a David Bowie fan or not, his influence was and will be felt on the music industry from some time to come. He was an innovator as well as a performer and led the way on several musical tends. He will be missed, but he will also be remembered.


No single way is always the right way…

January 11, 2016

“6+3=9, but so does 5+4.  The way you do things is not always the only way.  Respect other people’s way of thinking.”  (Facebook Posting) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog today.

Also in the news in today’s Oakland Press was a story about Oakland County Executive L. Brooks Patterson stating that he is in favor of theexclusion constitutional amendment to the Michigan Constitution that would protect the GLBT community from discrimination. Patterson is a well-known Republican conservative, but has also recognized the ugliness and hate that comes with discrimination. He is basically saying – respect other people’s way of living.

My wife often has to admonish me when I say something or do something that corrects or questions her way of thinking or doing things. She has her own way of doing things and it is often not the way that I would do it; so, that makes it “not the right way” in my mind (at least until I’m reminded to think more about it.) In addition to asking me to mind my own business, she is gently (sometimes not so much) telling me to – respect other people’s way of living.

I am reminded of the many stories in the Bible of the pharisees and priests who were aghast at the things that Jesus did, both in the temples and in Jesus in templegeneral. Our modern day pharisees are the moralizing, so-called Christian evangelicals who seem to spend more time criticizing the lives of others than putting their own lives in order. Like the high priests and pharisees of old, these modern day pharisees are sure that they occupy the moral high-ground and that their way is the only right way to live. And like those hypocrites of old, they try to take actions to correct or discriminate against those who choose to live differently. In modern times this holier-than-thou group uses political power to try to legitimize their discrimination through laws (or lack of laws) aimed at those who are “different.” They wrap themselves in a false morality that does not – respect other people’s way of living.

This same group of modern day pharisees is at the core of the current movement to also discriminate against those who practice religions different from theirs: since, obviously, their religion is the only correct one. They completely miss the irony that this country was founded by opinionatedpeople who were immigrants escaping religious persecution due to the fact they the religion that they practiced at the time was different from the prevailing religion in England and Europe. It is convenient also to forget about the threat that their immigration to America posed to the Native Americans who were already here. They essentially took the country from those who owned it at the time. Imagine if the Native Americans had enacted a law stopping the flow of these refugees from religious persecution from entering America because they posed a threat. Maybe that would have solved everything. The early settlers obviously did not – respect other people’s way of living.

I suspect that if we all focused upon doing a better job of being ourselves, instead of focusing upon the lives of others, we would all be in a better
place. Instead of spending time working about what negative impact people who choose to live in GLBT lives will have on us or being concerned about people who practice a religion that is different from ours; perhaps we should spend more time living our lives such that they will have a positive impact on those that we meet. Maybe if we are all kinder, more compassionate, more caring and more helpful to others; they will act the same to diversityus in return, no matter what lifestyle they choose to live. In the end, wouldn’t that make the whole world a better place in which to live? It would, because it would be a place in which we all would – respect other people’s way of living

The reality is that the only person that we really have control over is ourselves and many of us haven’t been doing that great of a job with thatbridgiing gaps responsibility, much less worrying about how others live. We need to focus less on others and more on doing the right things ourselves to make sure that we aren’t becoming modern day pharisees and discriminating against those with lives that are different from ours. So, as we begin a new week maybe, before we leave the house today we can resolve to – respect other people’s way of living.


What are the little things in your life?

January 8, 2016

“Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.”  (Kurt Vonnegut) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Word blog.

We all revel in the big moments in life at the time they occur – our babywedding day, the birth of our children, maybe a big job promotion or the day we closed on our first house; but it is often the little, private moments that result in the most enjoyable and lasting memories. I may be a tender moment between husband and wife or maybe a quiet time of love shared with a child. It is perhaps that final little squeeze of the hand with a loved one right before they pass away or the hug that says I need you and I trust you from an injured loved one.

The big moments in life are often filled with so much hoopla that they often just become something that you remember going along with rather than something that you really had the opportunity to enjoy. If you are fortunate you may have recorded some of the little moments in pictures, so that you can look back on them with that prop to help heighten the experience; but for the most part these are incidents or times in your life that were very private and in which taking pictures was the last thing on your mind. Fortunately that same mind is where they now reside and can be recalled.

What makes these seemingly unremarkable moments in your life so important? It is probably the fact that they occurred in unscripted, caregiver hands
unguarded and totally open and honest moments of your life where your soul touched another soul and shared an experience or a moment. Think back on the moments in your life in which you experienced those “Ah, ha!” moments of love or understanding and sharing with a loved one or a good friend. Those are the memories that you will take with you to the end, because they were really the big things.

The sad thing about Vonnegut’s quote is the truth that it is only later in life that most really understand this, many times after it is too late to go back and relive it with the other person involved. We remember these moments after our parent are gone. We relive them after our friends have passed away. Our children are grown and gone and out on their own before we realize the significance of the important moments that we had with them. It is unfortunate that we have to look back and finally realize that they were the most significant moments of our lives.

father-daughter danceMaybe that does not have to be. Perhaps, if we take the time to think about the little things in our lives that happen every day, we can revel in the moment. We can go to the ball game or the dance, instead of working those extra hours. We can pause to say, “I love you” every night, instead of taking our partners for granted. We can heighten our awareness of the little things (to us) that mean so much to others and make the effort to participate in and celebrate those moments.

Why is this important? Because, you don’t want to end up, as Vonnegut’s quote would have it; “looking back” and realizing how much of life that you missed, because you didn’t recognize the little things in life that were really important. Life is too short to miss all of the little things. Take the time take them in and realize that they are really the big things in life. They are the things that connected you to another human being in a moment of shared joy – and that’s a great thing.

In your final eulogy; far more important that any recital of all of your

ID-1009082

“Image courtesy of Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

business achievements   will be the personal remarks from family and loved ones – “I’ll miss my spouse/parent/grandparent/good friend and the things that we used to do together.”  Those were the little things that were important in the life that you lived. So, enjoy the little things in your life, because you don’t have to wait to look back some day to see that they were important.

Have a great weekend and enjoy those loved one that are around you


I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in…

January 7, 2016

In 1955 Smiley Lewis recorded the Song I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in. It was an early, slow rock and roll song that was covered by Fats Domino, who had more success with it than Smiley did. Fats Domino went on to fame and fortune, while Smiley’s career languished and he died in poverty.

I thought of this song recently while thinking about how often I hear God access deniedknocking and trying to help me, but I won’t let Him in. The free will (it might also be called ego) that God gave mankind can also act as a door to keep Him out when we most need him. We toil through life trying to solve things ourselves, letting our egos get in the way; rather than letting Him take our burdens and help.

Do you hear God knocking on your door? Do you let Him in? If not, why not? Is it because your ego won’t let you admit that you need help?

Men in particular seem to be less inclined to ask God for help with troubles in their lives. I’m not sure why we are “trained” to “keep a stiff upper lip” or when we are indoctrinated in a culture of stoic resolve to solfootball player1ve all problems without help. I remember the “big boys don’t cry” admonishments as a child and the “shake it off” advice for almost any hurt while growing up and the “suck it up” guidance for dealing with pain or disappointments. I suspect that athletics in general contribute greatly to that self-image of being able to live with pain.

Women seem to be so much better at sharing their problems and needs with other women and I suspect in turning to God for help in troubled times. I wonder if there is a difference in women athletes in that regard, since athletics is one area where the whole “macho” image thing is an important factor. The whole concussion problem that we now take veryfemale soccer player seriously grew out of the macho “shake it off” creed of athletics. So, I wonder if female athletes, especially those engaged in contact sports (which include soccer) develop a more insular approach to life and religion because of the stoicism required for those sports. Do they hear God knockin’ but they won’t let Him in? I suspect that it is not the case, as it is with men.

I’m just not sure when the “Jesus loves me” messages of Sunday School were replaced by the “Don’t share with others and don’t ask God” stoicism of adult life. Fortunately, I found my way back to that trust in God that we all started with as children, before adult cynicism settled in. I am neither reluctant nor ashamed to ask for God’s help when I need it, which is more often than my ego used to let me admit.

So what are we to do when we hear Him knockin’? Just ignore the quiet little voice saying, “Let me help you” and go about life in pain or desperation? I think rather than say,”I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in”, perhaps we should take the approach of another song, this one a contemporary Christian song by Chris Tomlin and say, “Lord I need you.”

How will you respond when He knocks on your door today?


“A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.” (Charlotte Bronte)

January 5, 2016

I have, more often that I’d like to admit, taken problems to bed with me and spent some of those nights restlessly trying to solve them. Most of usrestless sleep probably have a hard time “turning off” our minds so that we can sleep at night, rather than tossing and turning all night wrestling with some problem or perhaps our fears about some upcoming event. It’s hard not to think about things that have happened and how we should react to them or not to run over and over all of the worst case scenarios that we can imagine about some upcoming event.

The truth is that what we really need is a good night’s sleep so that we can awaken refreshed and ready to take on whatever we face that day. Pulling an “all-nighter” never worked for me in college and it doesn’t work today when faced with problems that will need to be solved tomorrow. Perhaps John Steinbeck had it right when he said:

“It is a common experience that a problem, difficult at night, is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” 

The human mind is a wonderful thing, but it can also be highly self-destructive. During the day there are usually lots of things going on to keep it busy, even if it is also engaged in solving a problem or planning for mind at workan upcoming event. While we are fully awake, most of us have the discipline to focus our minds on the tasks at hand in some organized way. It is when we lie down to sleep that we may find that given nothing else to occupy it our mind starts to run wild and in many directions at once (creating that “ruffled mind” that Charlotte Bronte referred to).

As we lay there at night, our imagination conjures up scenario after scenario, perhaps each more implausible than the last, but still we explore them in our half-asleep state. We’re not really asleep, but our minds are creating nightmares. Why? Because we feel that we must somehow solve whatever the problem is that we are fixated upon; even if there is no “solution”. We cannot admit that there may be no solution. We cannot accept that we can’t somehow solve it (whatever “it” is).

Perhaps the hardest thing for me to learn in my life was to let go of things and admit that I cannot solve all of the problems that I might encounter. Sometimes I just have to lay there in bed and let go by using my favorite little prayer – “Not my will but thy will be done.” I will admit that I prayingmentally fight it sometimes and I may have to repeat that prayer several times before I really can let go and trust that everything will be OK if I just put things in God’s hands.

Sometimes, when I need to convince myself that I’m still a little bit in charge of things I’ll change it up a bit by praying instead, “Lord, help me make the right decisions.” It least that lets me feed my ego and think that I’m more involved the solution process then. The important thing is to let go of the feeling that you are alone in whatever the situation is and that only you can affect the outcome and ask God for help. Try my little prayer and see if it works for you, too.

If you can get to that point where you can let go and put things in God’s hands; then you can get that good night’s sleep that you really need. You will likely find in the morning that Steinbeck’s advice then applies.

Have a great night’s sleep tonight!