The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Sept 12, 2022.
“Old people just grow lonesome, Waiting for someone to say, ‘Hello in there… Hello.” (John Prine lyrics) The late John Prine was a magician when it came to writing lyrics. “Hello in There” is a poignant song about lonesome old people who have stories to tell…if only someone would listen. Take a look around you. Is there someone waiting for you to say, “Hello?” It isn’t just old people who are waiting and hoping to hear that greeting. It’s surprising what can happen when we speak first. 😉 Jack
OK, in deference to full disclosure, I must admit that I am officially “old”. I have had trouble accepting the characterization of being elderly; however, at age 81 I must accept that I am considered to be “old” by a majority of the population.
My first thought when I read the quote in this post to Jack’s Winning Words is that we are all waiting for someone to acknowledge us and engage with us. Many of us who grew up in the same era were admonished as children not to speak unless spoken to and many of us allowed that advice to carry over into our adult lives. We are not painfully shy, we’re just waiting for someone else to…Speak first.
Jack’s advice to speak first can help anyone break out of the loneliness or silence that they have been living in. It is especially powerful if you can also use the other person’s name in your greeting. People love to be recognized by their name. Speak first.
It is also important to recognize that engaging with someone is a two-way street. They will want to know something about you and your story, too; so, be ready to share information about yourself. But, remember that the person with whom you are speaking really wants someone to listen to what they have to say. Speak first.
There is a tendency to think that you won’t know what to say after you’ve said, “Hello”. You may wish to have a few “go to” phrases ready as a way to increase the engagement or get to the next steps. You can’t expect someone that you just met to just launch into telling you their life story (nor in many cases would you want them to anyway). Phrases such as, “How’s your day going?” or maybe “Do you live around here?” are good conversation openers. Speak first.
It is really unsatisfying to just sit there looking at someone and hoping that they will speak to you. It gets worse when they get up and walk away and you are left wondering who they might have been and whether or not you would have enjoyed knowing them. Don’t just sit there waiting… Speak first.
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