The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 29, 2009.
“If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns the gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks.” (Steve Pavlina) This quote caused me to do a double-take. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Pavlina is a writer and speaker who helps people motivate themselves to improve their lives. To have the right attitude toward people is part of that process. There’s times to engage, and times to ignore. 😉 Jack
Insults and verbal attacks are generally expected to provoke a reaction. I’ve noticed that nothing blunts such and attack and frustrates the attacker as much as the attack being ignored. Acknowledgement of any sort is a form of engagement that just encourages the attacker to continue. Just don’t accept it…
A little Zen saying that I saw recently seems to apply to this topic – “Negative thoughts only have the power over me that I allow them to have”. The same applies to insults and verbal attacks. They only have power over you if you allow them to. Ignoring them takes away that power. Just don’t accept it…
Sometimes it is impossible to completely ignore a verbal assault. In that case a reply such as “It is unfortunate that you feel that way” serves to dismiss their attack and shifts the ownership back to them. Just don’t accept it…
If the person making the remarks is someone that you must continue to interact with in the future and ignoring the remarks does not seem like a solution, then perhaps suggest that you would like to discuss it further, once both of you have had time to cool down and think things over. Just don’t accept it…
NormsMilfordBlog 
So true. it’s difficult to have a fight when you won’t engage.