The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 9/3/24 – Originally sent August 30, 2021.
“Everything is going to work out; there’s no other option.” Kari Miller) Kari is amazing! She lost her legs in a car accident caused by a drunk driver and took a bad situation and made it better by joining the American Paralympics Sitting Volleyball Team. Try playing volleyball while sitting! I have a hard time while standing. But when you have no other option, you do what you can do. All of the Paralympians give us encouragement that things will work out for those who don’t give up…like Kari. 😉 Jack
It is amazing how many of us (and I include myself in this group) spend (read that as waste) time mentally exploring or wishing for some option to the situation that we find ourselves in at the moment. In my last post I implored people to never stop dreaming; however, dreaming is different from the denial that leads to regrets or wishing that things were different. Dreaming is about things in the future, while most time spent looking for options to the present are about the past – past decisions, past relationships, past mistakes that cannot be undone.
In truth there are no other options. The catch phrase, “It is what it is” best explains the situation. Mulling what might have been traps us in the past. As Jack wrote, “But when you have no other option, you do what you can do.” Accepting what is allows us to move on to what yet may be.
Most of us will never face a situation like Kari Miller or anywhere near as drastic a change in our lives as she faced. Kari could have spent the rest of her life wallowing in self-pity or anger; however, she chose to do what she could. How do you handle the curve balls that life sometimes throws at you?
Do you spend your days thinking about what might have been different had you only made a different decision or chosen a different path? Do regret and remorse rule your life? Are you stuck in Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda land? How’s that working out for you? Isn’t it time for a change?
Here’s a way to start “A new way forward”, to steal a campaign phrase from Vice President Kamala Harris. A key is to put things in perspective and put the past where it belongs – in the past. One way to help do that is to write down the bad thing or things that you have been hung up on. Then, fold up that paper and put it in an envelop and label the envelope “The Past”. Put that envelop in a drawer and walk away from it.
Now that you have put the past behind you, you can focus on your future and doing what you can do. You may be surprised how much that is and how much happier you will feel once you start doing it. You may not realize it at the time, but an important thing that just happened is that you stopped blaming yourself and beating yourself up for what happened in the past.
To help you with the future it is important that you let go of the thought that you can control it. You will be able to react to it (hopefully in a better way than in the past), but you cannot control it. I have found that, for me, the little prayer “Not my will, but thy will be done” allows me t let go of the pressure of the false belief that I can somehow control the future.
There really is no other option. So, let go and accept what has happened, acknowledge that it is in the past, and focus upon doing your best in the future.
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