The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/12/24 – Originally sent April 21, 2015.
“You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.” (Sent by NCD) Each year my insurance provider asks for a health assessment, including a part which asks me to rate my stress level. I’ve read that some stress is good for all of us. As with much of life–All things in moderation! But, when nerves get you down, take some deep breaths, write a thank you note, go for a walk, make a gratitude list, and don’t forget to pray. 😉 Jack
Most of us stress ourselves by being to critical and unforgiving of ourselves. We are obviously the only ones who can really answer the question, “What was he/she thinking?” and sometimes we just don’t like the answer. In fact, many people deflect blame from themselves by seeking someone or something else to blame for the bad outcome of what was a bad decision. Give yourself a break.
Sometimes we exacerbate the stress by imposing artificial and unrealistic deadlines upon ourselves. Sometimes we commit to achieving success in a task for which we are ill prepared to tackle (if prepared at all). Sometimes we commit to a goal that can only be achieved by a team of people and watch in disgust or despair when teammates let us down by failing in their part of the task. Almost always we look back on a failure and ask ourselves what we could have done differently to change the outcome. Give yourself a break.
I saw recently in a report that some companies are starting to evaluate the performance of their employees based upon their success with the process rather than the outcome. That is important because it acknowledges that most bigger jobs (tasks) are comprised of multiple steps (the process) that are defined by others and that success at the macro-level is out of the control of the individual performing the detailed steps. This allows a team-sport athlete who “left it all on the field” to feel good about themselves even in the face of a team defeat. Give yourself a break.
I have posted here a few times about forgiving yourself and that is a big part of giving yourself a break. The road to despair is paved with “what if” and “I should have…” guilt trips. Don’t go there. You didn’t and that is that. Forgive yourself and move on. Give yourself a break.
I like this quote – “The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” — Thomas S. Monson
We can’t just forget the past or change it, but we can use it as a teaching moment and hopefully learn from it. We also cannot change the future, but we can get ourselves better prepared for it by developing and practicing a better decision-making process. That process begins in the here and now. Give yourself a break.
Becoming more conscious of how you make decisions will hopefully enable you to improve that process. Sometimes that decision-making awareness will expose many of the bad assumptions or prejudices that drive your decisions and behavior. Make correcting those a priority but forgive yourself for having them and move on. Give yourself a break.
Jack’s last suggestion that you can relieve stress through prayer is an important one. Prayer allows you to forgive yourself and free you to move on. Prayer allows you to admit that you do not and cannot have the answers to every challenge. It allows you to lean on your faith and upon God for those answers. I use my little prayer, “Not my will, but Thy will be done” to Give myself a break. Try it, It might work for you, too. Give yourself a break.
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